The basic concept for Randy and Nicole's house had been worked out before she ever laid eyes on it. In fact, it had been worked out by one of Clark Construction's designers well before Randy had seen it, too -- it was something the architect had pulled out of a file cabinet when Randy got to talking house designs with him one day. But the design wasn't so far advanced that Nicole couldn't have a lot of input on the final plans, and she'd made some useful suggestions.

One of the things that she'd insisted on was that the master bedroom be well separated from the three other bedrooms in the house. Nicole had been looking far into the future on that one; though she realized it might be a little inconvenient when they eventually had small children, when they got older it would keep the noise in the master bedroom down. More importantly, it would give Randy and her a little more privacy, especially when they were making love.

Those days were still theoretical at this point; they'd decided to hold off a few years to have some time together before increasing their family. Still, that foresight meant that this evening she and Randy didn't have to talk in whispers to be private. But that didn't matter; they were cuddled closely together, their naked bodies entwined, but there was no lovemaking, not this night -- and still they talked so softly each one could hardly hear the other. "Do you know how guilty that makes me feel?" she whispered in her husband's ear.

"Probably about as guilty as it makes me feel," his soft voice came back to her in the semi-darkness of the bedroom.

"I always thought there was something that wasn't quite right about the whole story," Nicole said thoughtfully. "I guess I was right. It makes me ashamed, Randy." He said nothing, but she could feel a slight squeeze on her shoulder that urged her to go on. "I mean, what if the situation had been reversed? I couldn't have given you up that easily."

"I know," he whispered. "But, you know, the bottom line is that she was right."

"She was," Nicole agreed. "You and I had that agreement that things had to be cleared away between you and Crystal and her before we got serious. I told Crystal about it back when we were on the AT that time. I guess she must have told her."

"Probably, but it doesn't matter. After I heard about Ron, I figured that Myleigh was a dead issue. Damn."

"Like I said, I don't think I could have done it if I'd been the one in her shoes," Nicole sighed. "It was awful noble of her."

"And awful typical of her," Randy agreed. "The hell of it is that I think she's regretting having done it."

"You mean lying about it?"

"That too. Nicole, it's clear to me that she's not a happy camper. I don't think she's very happy about giving me up, and I don't think she's very happy with her life right now. What's more, I don't think she's totally happy about this recording deal with Jennifer and Blake."

"She seemed happy about it," Nicole said with a frown in her voice.

"Oh, on one level, I think she is. But if I read her right, I think she has some concerns, too. Let's face it, it's a good deal for her, but I can see a Jennifer and Blake snow job there. They hit her with it so quickly that she didn't have time to voice second thoughts."

"You think she has some?"

"I'd be surprised if she didn't. At a guess, they're tied in with the fact that she's not happy with where her life has taken her right now. She's unhappy, and I know she's scared."

Up till this point, Nicole's head had been resting on Randy's chest. Now she raised it, and looked at the shape of his face in the dark. "How can you tell?" she asked.

"You have to know Myleigh," Randy sighed. "I've known her longer than you have, and I think I know her better. She's pretty good at covering up her emotions most of the time, but I can tell."

"But how?"

"By the way she talks," Randy said. "It gives her away." He rubbed his wife's bare shoulder and continued, "You know the way she talks, the big words, the old fashioned phrasing, the obscure references?"

"Of course," Nicole smiled. "It's the most noticeable thing about her. It's even worse than it used to be. She didn't talk like that when I first met her."

"She'd cut it way back by about the time she met you," Randy said. "It's as bad now as when we were at NMU. Maybe worse."

"It must be all that time she spends teaching English lit," Nicole smiled in the dark.

"I wish it were," Randy sighed. "Except it isn't. Look, we talked about it one time. She and Crystal and I were driving all night, heading to Florida. Crystal was asleep in the back, and Myleigh and I were trying to keep each other awake, and, well, she said some things she might have not said except for the fact that she was tired and maybe had her guard down a little."

"And?"

"She admitted to me that the way she talks is a defense mechanism. She knows it, in fact, she intentionally developed it, although it's habit by now. It's intended to drive people away."

"Are you sure?"

"That's what she said, and the way she said it I have no reason to doubt it. She started using the language she picked up out of those old novels, just trying it out like a kid would. She noticed that it made people think she was weird, and they'd stay away from her."

Nicole shook her head in the darkness. "Why would she want to do that?"

"Two reasons. One she told me about, the other one I'm guessing from putting pieces together. The one I'm guessing at is I think she's trusted people who then turned on her and hurt her. She had a really tough time in high school, Nicole. You can imagine why. I guess she figured that it was best if people didn't get close to her. The one she told me about was that she didn't want to get hooked up with some guy who might divert her from what she wanted to do, which was get her doctorate and become a lit professor. So, she put up this shell to keep people away. She said she started it clear back in junior high. It worked, Nicole. I would never have gotten close to her if I hadn't already been friends with Crystal when that thing in the cafeteria happened. I told you about that."

"Yes, you did," Nicole said. It had taken a long time to get the details out of him. Before Randy met them, Crystal and Myleigh had attended an off-campus party, and it turned out there were a bunch of drunks around. One of them thought that Crystal might be fun to play with, and he'd tried to muscle her. Bad move; Crystal had a karate black belt, and put him in the hospital. Not long after Randy met Crystal and Myleigh, Randy and Myleigh had been in the cafeteria when the same guy came in with a pretty good load on, looking for trouble. He apparently figured he could settle the score with Crystal by attacking her much smaller roommate. Again, bad move -- Randy may have been a small guy, too, but he'd been a state-level wrestler. The drunk had made a really stupid, wide open attack, so Randy busted him up even worse than Crystal had -- and afterward was agonized and ashamed that he'd had to use violence to do it.

"She opened up to me, Nicole. Not much, just a little. I still would never have gotten to be friends with her if Crystal hadn't been involved every step of the way, and if it hadn't been clear right from the start that Myleigh and I didn't have a long-range future."

"I knew that," Nicole said. "I'd never have tried to wait Crystal and her out if I hadn't known it. But it allowed us to become friends."

"Do you realize why you're friends with her?"

Nicole shrugged. "Well, because of you. I'd never have met her any other way."

"True, as far as it goes," he replied slowly. "She can be very friendly, and is always polite and courteous. But she doesn't make close friends easily, Nicole. I think the only way she became friends with you is that she knew that I knew you and trusted you. She bootstrapped on that. Same thing with Jennifer and Blake. The Flagstaff bunch, well, they're all friends and relatives of Crystal, and my guess is that some of them aren't that close to her. She'd never have opened up with any of us that way if it hadn't come secondhand or third hand from Crystal."

"That's really sad when you look at it that way," Nicole sighed. "But I think you're right."

"I know I'm right," Randy said. "The only friend she ever made on her own was Crystal, and that was a fluke. She was so desperately scared when she went to NMU that she was eager for any word of kindness she could get, and she told me that in so many words. Fortunately, she got lucky with Crystal."

"And those two are so different that it's hard to imagine them finding the room to be friendly about anything," Nicole nodded. "It seems like a miracle."

"I know it was a miracle," Randy agreed. "Think about it. She and Paula, the girl she roomed with at Cornell, had a lot in common. I only met Paula once. She was a nice enough person, and I figured Myleigh would make friends with her. Didn't happen. They shared a room and co-existed, but they weren't friends. Olivia, down in Athens, well, I can understand why she didn't make friends with her, although they did manage to share a room for two years. I wonder how they got along at all, and I guess it wasn't too well. I had to meet her three or four times, and we took an instant dislike to each other the moment we met. Every time I met her it was all I could do to keep myself from neutralizing her, and she was egging me on to do it."

"I met her a couple times," Nicole reminded him, shivering a little inside. She knew that when Randy said "neutralize," he meant "remove her as a threat," most likely involving a long hospital stay. Randy had an excellent, even professional, control of his temper and never let it get out of hand, but he could be pushed to a breaking point, especially if attacked. He'd taken up martial arts after that incident in the NMU cafeteria mostly to help him learn to keep himself under control and also to keep in shape, but he could handle himself if things got out of hand. She'd watched in awe as he'd picked up his second black belt last winter, in judo. Now he was working on a third with Blake and the rest of the gang who met in their informal gym downtown. As neutrally as she could she continued, "I can't say as I liked her, but we were at least civil."

"That was because you're a woman," Randy laughed quietly. "A misguided one, since your taste happens to run toward men, but still, a woman. Once I finally understood that, I just laid low when I had to deal with her and got out of there as quickly as I could. It was her problem, not mine, and I didn't want to let her make it mine. Anyway, that's beside the point. Something never quite rang true about the Ron story to me either, but I couldn't put my finger on it till now. She doesn't make friends that easily, not out of strangers. Really, it only happened the once."

"And, now there she is, down in Kansas City, and the friends she does have are either here, or Florida, or way the hell and gone out in Flagstaff," Nicole commented. "I think I can see why you think she's unhappy there."

"I don't think it," he said, "I know it, especially after tonight. I just wish there was something I could do."

"We can try to help a little," she said. "We can't be a lot of help, but there's no reason we couldn't visit her down there once in a while. That might help take the sting out."

"Good idea," Randy said thoughtfully. "I don't mind getting away once in a now and then, especially if it's for a good cause. And I think while we're down in Florida I'll get Crystal off to the side and tell her to get to Kansas City once in a while when she's off season."

"It might help a little."

"Yeah," he replied. "It won't be a permanent solution but it might help for a while. Get her through to summer break, anyway. It looks like she's going to be spending some time here this summer, maybe Whispering Pines, maybe work on a second album. That'll give her a chance to be with some friends for a while, recharge her batteries, maybe."

Nicole sighed. Considering the trend of the discussion this was the worst possible time, but it had to come out. "Uh, I hate to say this, Randy, but there may be a problem with that."

"Huh?"

"I talked to Harmony today."

"She doing any better?"

"No," Nicole sighed. "Worse. They're going to have to go back in and put her hips back together again. Probably not till next summer."

For years -- ever since high school, with the exception of the summer she took off to hike the Appalachian Trail -- Nicole had spent six to eight weeks each summer as a counselor in a Girl Scout camp in southern Michigan that the counselors all called "Mosquito Valley." It had been a rewarding experience, and Nicole had really enjoyed the work even though it had put a huge crimp in her romance with Randy while Myleigh and Crystal were fading into the distance. Along with her being gone for other things like the hike, there had been a couple years where she and Randy just hadn't spent much time together, and what they had was done on the run. It had almost come to the point of breaking them up -- well, not between the two of them, but Nicole knew that there were some other women around Spearfish Lake who wouldn't have minded having her out of the picture. Randy was, after all, a catch, especially considering the money in the family. At least one of the women had told Nicole that she knew she'd never had a chance, but Nicole knew that she'd barely hung onto him for quite a while. Probably the only thing that had saved it was that Randy's summers had been so busy he hadn't had the energy for any running around, although Nicole understood that he hadn't had the interest, anyway.

Nicole had thought that Mosquito Valley was behind her when they'd been married a year ago. Then, last summer, just as school was out and construction season was getting really busy, the camp director, Harmony -- it was a camp name; her real name was Tamara McKimmy, but no one involved with Mosquito Valley ever used it -- was badly injured in a car wreck. She barely survived, and wasn't in any shape to work, so an emergency replacement was needed. There were only two possible candidates, Nicole -- her camp name was Marlin -- and Jackpine, the girl she'd walked the Appalachian Trail with. Nicole hadn't wanted the job -- but then discovered that Jackpine was with the Peace Corps in Tanzania. Very reluctantly Marlin agreed to fill in. It was only going to be the one summer, she rationalized, and Randy was going to be working twelve and fourteen-hour days plus practicing for Saturday Night in the odd minutes he could find free, so he might really not miss her that much. It had gone all right, but he was glad to see her home.

"Oh, God," Randy said sorrowfully. "I suppose they want you again."

"I'm afraid so," she sighed. "I didn't say yes and I didn't say no, Randy. I knew I had to talk it over with you. Myleigh got here before you did, and there wasn't any chance to bring it up."

"That's just ducky," Randy snorted. "Just when it looks like I might have time to have something resembling a life this summer."

"I can tell them no," Nicole offered. "Maybe I should. But Randy, I really enjoy the work, and we can use the money. Besides, Harmony and I did a hell of a lot of work overhauling the program the last couple years. If they bring in another director, it'll have to be someone from outside who doesn't know the place, and they'll probably fall back to that arts and crafts shit Harmony and I worked so hard to get rid of. I'd really hate to see that happen."

It had taken a lot of work, too; both Harmony and Marlin had spent months at the Outdoor Leadership Training Academy in Idaho, learning to lead camp groups on outdoor adventures, rather than just dinking around camp and getting bit by mosquitoes while doing cute but useless arts and crafts. It had taken the camp in a new direction, and the girls were responding well to it, having a lot of fun and learning skills that people really used in the outdoors. But, there were a lot of old-line leaders who liked things the way they'd been.

"I know you would." Randy said sympathetically. "I've heard you talk enough about it. I'd hate to see the work the two of you did get thrown away. I know it would bug the hell out of you."

"It would," Nicole agreed. "I'd hate to see someone louse up the work she and I did, and then she'd have to build it up all over again by herself. Or, have it lost altogether if she can't come back, ever."

"Is there a chance that could happen?"

"I don't know," Nicole sighed. "She's hopeful that she'll be back together in another year, but there's no promise of it."

"So this could be permanent?"

"No," Nicole told him. "There's no way I can let that happen, not if we're going to have kids. But, we aren't planning on having any for a while. Her thinking and my thinking is that if she can't come back, in two or three more years, we should be able to come up with someone else who sees things our way and get them trained to our way, and maybe some of the old guard will be gone by then."

"Well, shit," Randy said in disappointment. "You don't have to make your mind up right away, then?"

"Not right away, but pretty soon, so they don't have to go looking for another replacement."

"Oh, hell," Randy sighed. "Your choice, I guess. Odds are that we'll come up with another school job or some damn thing that'll eat up most of the summer, anyway. If that doesn't happen, most of my free time will still probably be over in Jennifer and Blake's basement."

"That's the other part of the problem," Nicole said sadly. "If I'm gone, Myleigh isn't going to want to stay here after what she said tonight. She probably won't want to even stay in Spearfish Lake."

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