There was no denying that Mary’s house was small, pushing the point of being cramped. When Adam visited the place a little over three years before, he’d had to sleep on the couch – there just wasn’t anywhere else, but under the circumstances he hadn’t minded.

It was still a small house, and with Matty there, life was even more cramped. However, since Mary now owned several houses not far away as part of the artist colony project, Adam was happy to stay in one of them to disturb Mary and Matty as little as possible, and the other way around, of course. It wasn’t very far away, perhaps fifty yards, and while he wanted as much family time as he could get with them there was no point in overdoing it. The little red house was neat and clean, if a touch on the Spartan side, and the bed there was much preferable to sleeping on the couch again.

Adam was glad to know that things had worked out for Mary in that regard. She’d seen an opportunity and had taken advantage of it, and it had worked out well for her and for the community.

However, Adam still ate meals with Mary and Matty in her house; the food was simple, and ran to fish, not surprisingly. Still, Adam could almost feel Matt’s presence there, if for no more reason than Matt’s picture over the fireplace: the same picture that was on the wall of his office – but a painting in this case. One of the artists had done it for her last summer, and somehow it seemed both more real and more ethereal than the familiar one. In some hard to describe way it raised the memory of Matt to a legend in his mind. Even now it was a little hard for Adam to admit to the reality that his son was gone; he knew it in his head, of course, but his gut just hadn’t quite accepted it. It was as if Matt were out sailing somewhere, and sooner or later there would be a call or a letter filling him in on the latest adventure. Adam suspected it was a feeling that would never go away.

Adam was anxious to see more of Mary and the boy, and to go out sailing on the Mary Sue with them. When he woke up the next morning, it didn’t take a seaman’s eye to realize it wasn’t going to happen that day; there was a storm blowing whitecaps up in the harbor, bending the few trees around the settlement. It was difficult to see the entrance to the harbor in the fog, rain, and flying spray; there was no telling what it would be like outside the harbor, but he suspected it couldn’t be good. From his window he could see the Mary Sue straining at its mooring out in the harbor, and he hoped the boat was riding out the storm well.

Eventually, he had no choice but to pull on his rain jacket to go use the biffy; from there he went on over to Mary’s house, which was actually a little more exposed to the weather. “Not the prettiest day out there,” he commented when she let him in.

“Naw, could be nicer,” she said, handing him a cup of coffee. “But there’s a cod opener today, so the b’ys are out in it whether they want to be or not.”

“Seems hard to believe.”

“They have ta make it when they can,” she shrugged. “I’ve had ta head out ta fish when it’s been as bad or worse, even when I was but a wee lass. My pa died in a storm at sea, Adam, so it’s not new ta me. There’s a difference between wantin’ ta go ta sea and havin’ ta. It’s what life is like here, Adam. This settlement has always lived from the sea, an’ sometimes it means there’s a price ta pay. Fortunately it doesn’t happen much anymore, but there’s a good reason why I’m not the only widow in Blanche Tickle. At least Matt knew it was comin’ and got ta tell me goodbye.”

“Yeah,” he said slowly, dragging it out and letting his mind get around the concept. Life certainly was different in Blanche Tickle from what he’d been used to, and somehow his romanticized view of it had overlooked a few little points like that. Life here could be hard and tough and dangerous, and there was good reason why people who lived here stuck together. They had to. “I guess I’m just as glad I don’t have to be out there today.”

“Well, I am, too,” she smiled, grabbing up Matty and holding him on her hip. “It’s not like I have ta do it anymore, an’ with luck I might not have ta go out fishin’ on a day like today ever again. An’ maybe with luck, Matty may never have ta. He may want ta, an’ that’s somethin’ different.”

“Scary to think about, in either case,” he admitted as he took a seat at the table with his coffee, and she sat down across from him with Matty in her lap.

“Aye. Adam, even though Matty most likely will grow up ta be a Blanche Tickle b’y, I hope he’ll be able to find an easier life than workin’ the boats an’ fishin’ for cod. I know we were talkin’ yesterday about him bein’ able to go to college. I can’t say if he’ll ever want ta do it, but at least it will be good ta know he can if he wants ta.”

“Mary, that’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. I hope you’ll encourage him to go to college, and to learn something of the world beyond Blanche Tickle. Things are different there, and you’ve been out and around enough to know it. Mary, that legacy from my father ought to make the difference, but I’m concerned that Matty grows up with the knowledge and responsibility to use that money wisely, because there will be more coming as he gets older.”

“More?” she said, somewhat surprised.

“More,” he replied. “I can’t say how much, because I don’t know. But, when my father’s estate gets settled, I’m going to be coming into a lot of money. It may not be cash up front, but I’ll own the company, and it’s going to be worth quite a bit, depending on what I do with it, how the future goes, and things like that. But Matty is also my only heir, so ultimately he’ll be winding up with my estate. I’m not saying he has to grow up with the idea of coming into the company, and frankly I hope he doesn’t. I may not own it by the time I pass on anyway. But when I do pass on, I hope Matty will be wise enough to use that money wisely, and not just blow it on hot cars and fast women.”

“Aye,” she nodded quietly. “I can see why ye would be concerned. But Adam, I hope that day is a long time in comin’.”

“Well, obviously I do, too. But if the experience with Matt taught me anything, it taught me that we may not get our wish about it. Hell, I might not live to get back home, or even to the house I’m staying in while I’m here. We don’t know and we can’t know. My father lived more than thirty years longer than my age now, so that’s one thing, and frankly, if I died in the next year or so it would be a very complicated mess for you to try to pick up. My father did a lot of preparations, and it’s still a mess for me, although I’m getting a handle on it. I hope to make things a little simpler for you in the next few months, but if it happened, say, in twenty years it’s not going to be simple. I will try to leave some instructions for you and Matty in how to deal with it, and update them when I can, but that’s about all I can do.”

“That’s not a happy prospect, Adam.”

“No, it’s not. And, to be blunt, while I expect that living in Blanche Tickle is going to give Matty a great way to grow up, it’s not going to prepare him well for the time when all that gets dumped in his lap. So, Mary, it’s going to be up to you to give him wider experiences than just this village, and to help him get the mindset that will allow him to act wisely when that day comes. I don’t have any specific wishes about how to use that money, but I do want him knowledgeable enough to be able to use it wisely.”

“Adam, I don’t know how I’m going to be able ta do all that.”

“So ask. Unless something really unexpected comes up I ought to be available to help you out for a good many years yet, and I’ll help where I can. Just understand when I talk about things like Matty eventually going to college, I’m not doing it to stroke my ego, but to help prepare him for challenges that he’ll eventually be facing.”

“I’m sure glad ye can help with that ’cause I know I wouldn’t have any idea where ta start.”

“You’ve got time to learn, and you’ve had experiences outside Blanche Tickle that tell you that it can be learned,” he smiled. “Realistically, it’s not going to matter much in the next few years, but after that you’re going to have to be broadening his horizons a little. It may mean having to move to St. John’s or someplace. Hell, it might involve buying a bigger boat and taking him sailing, because you know as well as I do that showing him other places will help him get a better sense of the size of the world and what’s in it.”

“The thought has crossed my mind from time ta time,” she grinned. “I was on Cousin Albert’s bummer when I was pretty young, probably too young, but I want him ta be big enough ta be able ta take at least some of the responsibility for himself. You’re not gonna mind too much if I take him off sailin’ for a few years, then?”

“Mary, I’m not trying to impose my will on you in this, and I want to give you the broadest freedom possible in raising him. While he’s my grandson, he is your son, and that means a lot of the responsibility is going to fall on you. I’m saying this because I plan on leaving you much more room to maneuver than you would have if Brittany was talking to you. She’d have every move for him planned, and she’d be watching over you like a hawk to make sure you followed every detail in every plan she made. That’s a big part of the reason why I’ve been doing my best to keep her off your back. You would not have the freedom to take him sailing or something like that if she was involved, but if the opportunity were to come up I might be willing to come with you.”

“An’ I think it might be nice ta have ye with us,” she smiled. “Maybe that’s somethin’ we’ll have ta talk about in a few years. Jake was sayin’ ye’ve been sailin’ with him a bit, an’ ye’ve been tossin’ around the idea of buyin’ a boat yourself.”

“Tossing it around, yes. Having made a decision about it, no, not yet. I know I’m not ready to buy a boat and start sailing it around the world, and I’m not sure I want to do it anyway. But buying a boat and getting some experience with it, well, it could happen this summer, or it might not. If I can rig things around to get the time, I might well be cruising around the Great Lakes with it, and maybe elsewhere. I just don’t know yet, since it depends on a lot of things that aren’t worked out yet.”

“Ye weren’t thinkin’ of tryin’ ta relieve me of the Mary Sue, were ye?”

“No, I’d pretty well made up my mind about that. Well, not entirely, at that. I mean, if you wanted to get rid of it and didn’t have a buyer, I’d probably be willing. But I think I need to have something a little more comfortable for a man my age, which means things like being able to stand up in the cabin, especially if it turns out that I wanted to live aboard for an extended period.”

“Aye, there were plenty of times I wished for it myself, an’ I can think of other things that would ha’ been nice ta have on a bigger boat. That’s why Matt an’ I were thinkin’ of lookin’ for a bigger boat before Matty came inta the picture. We never quite got that far, and we were thinkin’ we’d have ta keep an eye on our pennies ta do it. We saw several boats for sale that might have done well for us, but we’d decided to put it off for a while. But for all of that, I don’t think we’d want too much bigger a boat. The bigger they are the harder they are ta take care of, and it gets worse quicker than the boat gets longer.”

“Jake has told me something like that. I don’t think I’d want a much bigger boat myself. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the Pixie . . . “

“I have, but I’ve never been on it.”

“It strikes me as about the right size for one or two people. Jake tells me it’s not a boat he’d want to consider crossing an ocean in, but for casual cruising along the coast, it probably would work pretty well. But it’s all theory; I’m really not looking for a boat just yet. The one thing I’m sure of is that when I do, Jake is going to be holding my hand every inch of the way.”

“I don’t know Jake all that well myself, but it seems like that’d be a pretty good idea for ye.” She grinned at him and added, “Adam, it looks like ye’ve already managed ta get through that mug of coffee. Would ye be likin’ another one?”

Adam glanced out the window, to see that the storm was still blowing hard. “Sure,” he said. “On a day like today I’d much rather be sitting around your kitchen table talking about sailing than being out in that stuff.”

“Aye, so would I, Adam. I mean, I’ve been there an’ I know it.”

Adam and Mary spent the day together, mostly just sitting around the kitchen table playing with Matty and talking while the storm continued to blow outside. Adam managed to get Mary talking about her travels with Matt, and he heard many stories he’d never heard before about the places they’d gone, the things they’d done and the people they’d met. Mary was certainly an interesting person, and it gave him a much better picture of the man his son had been; it was a real shame indeed that Brittany had closed her mind to all of it. But then, she wouldn’t have appreciated it, and it was her loss.

Late in the afternoon the storm let up a little. The wind was still blowing hard, although not as fiercely as before. All of them, even Matty, felt a little uneasy at having been housebound by the weather, so they all got on their rain gear and made a slow walk to the post office. Adam was able to renew his acquaintance with Sinead, the postmistress about his age who had been such a good and loyal friend to Mary.

They stopped off at the store, the natural gathering place for the settlement, where there was talk and obvious worry about the men and the boats out fishing in the storm. There had been no distress calls, which was always good news, and from the snatches of conversation picked up on the radio the fishing had been good, but not spectacular. Obviously, these tough Newfoundland fishermen had a different idea than Adam of what was acceptable weather and what wasn’t.

Eventually they headed back to Mary’s house, where she made dinner for the three of them. Matty was still a messy eater, but he managed to get most of his food down, and caused his mother and grandfather some laughs along the way. That evening, they decided that it was a good night for a fire in the fireplace, and some more stories about Matt and Mary’s adventures. Along with that, there were some more sea stories that came from Mary’s growing up and fishing with her Cousin Albert, who had raised her after her parents had died.

The next day the weather was better, if not really good – certainly not good enough for a ride on the Mary Sue unless they had to go somewhere, which they didn’t. They spent time playing with Matty and talking, of course, but working on some chores around the house, and on the rental houses. There was always work to be done, especially with the art colony people due in the next few weeks.

The weather was considerably better the next day; the skies were clear and sunny, and the breeze was gentle. There were fishing boats on their moorings and docks around the bay; the opener was over with, and the fish caught in the past two stormy days had been hauled into the processing plants. “The weather looks pretty promisin’,” Mary said. “I suppose if we’re gonna take the Mary Sue up ta Ballycotton Cove we’d better be doin’ it while the getting’ there is good.”

“Talked me into it,” Adam said. He’d been looking forward to a ride on the Mary Sue for some time, at least partly because it would help him understand a little more about what life aboard had been like for Matt.

Even as young as Matty was, he seemed excited to be going sailing; already he was getting to be an old hand at this. Mary put together a lunch, and the three of them took an old skiff that was pulled up on the shore in front of the cabin and rowed out to the Mary Sue. Matty had a child’s life vest on, of course, and on the sailboat he always wore a lifeline. There was a certain amount of getting things organized, getting sail covers off and the like. Adam had only been aboard the boat once before, and not sailing it then, but he had learned much from Jake in the past year, and was able to help a lot.

Adam knew that the Mary Sue had been set up specifically for single-handed sailing, and he could have sat back and let Mary do the work, but it felt good to be doing what he could to help, letting some of the knowledge learned from Jake help out. Soon, they were off the mooring, sailing out of the harbor under the Mary Sue’s working sails, the same ones that had twice taken Matt and Mary across the Atlantic. Before his experience with Jake he might have been a little apprehensive; now it was just nice to sit back, enjoy the ride, and take in the wild, rugged Newfoundland scenery. The boat took on a good heel and rolled around a bit in the waves offshore; the smell of salt was strong and off to one side the horizon was far away.

While Matty was learning to be a sailor, he was still a toddler, and the fun of sailing only held his interest for so long. Before long, he was playing with some toys on the cockpit floor, as Mary steered the boat, kept an eye on him, and told Adam a bit about the rugged coastline they were passing.

They had to go around a prominent headland to get into the bay where what was left of Ballycotton Cove lay; it was moderately rough for a while, but nothing to be concerned about. Once inside the bay things settled down considerably as the Mary Sue drifted along at a gentle pace. “It ain’t real fast, but we’re gettin’ there,” she told him. “It’s just nice ta be out here on a day like today.” Adam just drank it all in; as far as he was concerned, seeing new places and new sights were a big part of the appeal of sailing for him.

After a couple hours they saw a small cluster of tumbledown shacks huddled together. “This is where we’re headin’,” Mary told him. “The dock is kinda beat up, but we can still use it. We’ll want ta come in under power, though, so we might’s well be gettin’ the sails down.”

“I can handle it,” Adam told her. “You just sit back, steer, and keep an eye on Matty.”

A few minutes later he had the jib furled around the headstay, and the main dropped and lashed to the boom; Mary had the boat’s little diesel engine going, and brought it up to the pier. She held it there while Adam hopped up on the dock and tied the boat off. “There ain’t really a lot ta see here ’less ye want ta paint it or draw it,” she said. “But this is where I was living while I was a wee little girl, and it’s sad that no one lives here now. I always seem ta have memories when I come here.”

They took a brief walk around the tiny abandoned settlement; Mary stopped briefly at one of the tumbledown houses. “This is the first place I remember livin’,” she told Adam. “In my mind’s eye, it was a lot bigger then than it is now, but what memories I have of Mam and Pa are of them here. That was a long time ago, Adam, but at least I have memories of them, which is more than Matty will have of his pa. I wish it didn’t have ta be that way, but it is. I was a happy child here though. We didn’t have much of nothin’ but I didn’t know that.”

“It’s a long way different than what life was like for Matt at that age.”

“Aye. I brought him here once, well, Evan and I did on Evan’s boat, an’ Matt said pretty much the same thing.” She scratched her head and went on, “It’s still kinda strange to me, how different Matt an’ I were, and how much alike we seemed ta be in spite of it. We never had an argument, never a fight, and usually thought pretty much alike. I mean, I knew there was a chance we’d not have a lot of time together, an’ we didn’t, but what we had was wonderful, an’ I wouldn’t give it up for the world.”

Adam couldn’t do much but envy her – and envy Matt as well. He’d never had anything like that kind of relationship with Brittany; they’d always seemed to be more or less at odds with each other. He’d never felt the kind of closeness that Mary was talking about, not with Brittany, not with anyone.

In any case, Brittany was in the past. Was there a chance he still might be able to find something like what Matt and Mary had shared? There was time for it, perhaps not a lot of time, but Matt hadn’t had a lot of time and had used it well.

“At least you had it, Mary,” he said finally. “I don’t know who the poet was who said, ‘’Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all,’ but he got it right. You and Matt . . . well, at least you had it.”

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