It was Friday before Royce could get an appointment with Walt Benson, the lawyer Ashbury had recommended. Benson had an office in the back of a low commercial building a few miles away, and unlike the detective’s, it seemed a bit shabby, cluttered, and run-down. The same could be said of the man himself; he was overweight, and had the kind of skin that made it look like he needed a shave even if he’d just had one. He was wearing an open-collared white dress shirt; a tie and a rather loud suit jacket hung on a coat tree in the corner. In other words, he looked just about like Royce would have expected an ambulance-chasing lawyer to look.

Of course, there had to be a greeting and a few moments of discussion over the college football season, which was drawing to a close. Finally, Benson got down to business by asking, “So what can I do for you?”

“I’m not exactly sure,” Royce explained. “Let me begin by saying that there are a couple of people I don’t like. I’m in the process of getting a major lawsuit going against them, and when it hits them I want them to be so up to their necks in other trouble that they won’t know which way to turn. I’m thinking of nuisance and harassment suits, especially if they’re not easily traceable to me, but anything else we can think of to make their lives miserable.”

“Sounds like you’ve really got it in for them,” Benson smiled.

“That’s a fair description. The people are my ex-wife and her husband. I caught them in bed together while I was still married to her. In the aftermath they essentially took my daughter away from me, and now it’s time for payback.”

“So you want your pound of flesh, I take it.”

“More than a pound, if possible. I want them hurting as bad as I hurt, and I’m willing to pay to see it.”

Benson shook his head. “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen someone want to sue someone else just for the sake of hurting them. In fact, it happens a lot. But before we go any further, I might as well warn you that vengeance is not always as sweet as it looks like it will be.”

“I’m willing to take that risk. This whole thing has ground at me for over ten years, and it’s hurt me a lot. I want them to feel some pain, and I’m willing to pay for it. I want to keep things legal just so they don’t have a route to hit me back, but ethically, well, I’m not as picky.”

“Are you looking to sue them for damages?”

“Yes and no. Another attorney is handling the main lawsuit, and we think we have the grounds to ask for a large award. I want them diverted so their full attention isn’t on that suit. Let’s say, just as an example, Joe Blow trips and falls in the entryway to their store, breaks his arm, and sues them for umpteen million dollars.”

“In a situation like that, their liability insurance is going to cover the damages, and will pay for the defense if there is one. The insurance companies usually prefer to settle something like that out of court.”

“I know that, but in any case it will eat up at least some of their time and attention. Besides, if three or four things like that happen, sooner or later their insurance company is going to raise their rates, or cancel them entirely.”

“It might be hard to arrange that,” the lawyer nodded, but with a hint of a smile on his face. “Not impossible, mind you, but difficult. There are other things that could be done more easily.”

“Such as?”

“You say they have a store. What kind of store is it?”

“It’s a string of sub shops, five of them.”

“Then there are plenty of things that can be done. Are you a businessman yourself?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then you know that there are a whole pack of city, county, state, and federal agencies that mostly exist to cause trouble. While they are supposed to be providing for the health and safety of the public or other such garbage, their employees are mostly in the job for their paychecks and they want to make sure they keep getting them. The way they do that is to make unnecessary trouble so they look good and their agency looks good.”

“That’s a rather cynical way to put it, not that I don’t agree with every word you said,” Royce smiled. “Building inspections, health inspections, safety inspections, and stuff-you-never-even-heard-of-before inspections. What’s more, their regulations often don’t make sense or conflict with the regulations of other agencies. For example, the health department says that something has to be done one way, while the occupational safety department says that the health department is all wrong, it has to be done their way in conflict with what the health department wants. It’s a case of too much damn government.”

“Right. Stuff like that can go on for years with no resolution. I sometimes wonder how we manage to have any business in this country at all.”

“How hard is it to get someone in to do a really tough inspection? I know that if an inspector wants to, he can find something to write up no matter how perfect everything is.”

“Let’s just say there are ways, and most of them are even legal,” Benson replied. “Sometimes just a batch of citizen complaints at the right time is enough to get the ball rolling. Those agencies are like sharks. Once they smell the blood in the water, they’ll flock in for a feeding frenzy and there really isn’t much the business owner can do to defend against them.”

“That’s roughly what I had in mind,” Royce grinned. “Any other ideas?”

“Believe it or not, it’s hard to get the Internal Revenue Service moving on a violation, but once they do they’re relentless and can find all sorts of little violations that even the best tax accountants never even heard of. As you’ve probably discovered, as far as the IRS is concerned, it’s a case of being guilty until proven innocent. Again, it’s really a matter of employees having to justify their jobs.”

“Do you think you can set something like that up?”

“Actually, it’s hard to say, since part of it depends on finding an IRS agent whose wife wasn’t in the mood for sex the night before or something like that. It’s certainly possible to take a shot at it, but it’s possible to push them too far and have it come back on you. Again, though, once the blood is in the water there are all sorts of taxing and regulatory agencies that can smell it. Believe me, an IRS raid can louse up your whole day.”

“Since a lot of business success depends on how well you can play the IRS regulations, they’re sure to find something, and I’ve seen cases where it can louse up more than a day. I mean, a few years in a cell louse up.”

“Exactly,” the lawyer nodded soberly. “The heck of it is that there isn’t much a business owner can do to defend against such things. Every now and then I can find a chink in their armor, but it doesn’t do much good. Then there are other things. The third complaint of drug dealing in a business can set off a landslide that could take years to sort out even if the complaint is baseless, even if the complaint involves a known drug dealer doing a little business over coffee or supposedly looking at buying a sweat shirt.”

“All right, that’s the kind of diversion I’m talking about,” Royce replied to drag the discussion back to the main point of interest. He already knew most of what Benson had mentioned, but mostly wanted to be sure they were talking about the same thing. “How hard would it be to set up a health and safety feeding frenzy?”

“I have to be honest with you by telling you that luck plays a part. I mentioned a guy feeling grumpy because his wife cut him off the night before and he’s behind quota in writing up violations for the month. If I happen to be talking with him about some other violation, what would happen if I can say to him, ‘Why are you pushing this penny-ante stuff when so-and-so’s hamburger yesterday just about made me puke? I’m scared I’m going to get salmonella or botulism or something.’”

“That might get someone’s attention, all right.”

“Then, suppose I run into the building inspector a few days later and happen to mention, oh, ‘I hear that so-and-so really got written up by the health department? If they’re that bad you know they’ve cut some corners elsewhere.’ Do it to the right guy at the right time, and the next thing you know the target can’t do any business because the place is so crowded with every inspector under the sun that the customers can’t get through. Those kinds of inspectors are pretty much alike because they’d rather take on an easy one over a hard one.”

“You’re saying that it only takes a few bugs in the ear, some citizen complaints, and things like that?”

“Pretty much, but it depends on the situation and taking advantage of opportunities when they arise.”

“All right,” Royce smiled. Ashbury had clearly sent him to a man who could do just exactly what he wanted him to do. “What’s it going to cost me to have you get things rolling?”

“How much are you willing to pay?”

“What the market will bear,” Royce snickered. “I get the impression that you’re thinking that it’s not going to take a lot of your time, so I see no reason that you can’t be well paid for what time you do spend on it.”

“Oh, it will take some time, but you’re right, probably not all that much, unless we get into nuisance suits like you suggested when you came in. There’s no doubt that those are going to be more expensive. But, if the opportunity arises for the right suit from another party, I might be willing to talk in terms of a contingency fee with them.”

“Are you willing to take a retainer?”

“Sure, we can get this going, for, oh, a thousand bucks to get things started.”

“Good enough. But there are two other things. First, I don’t want to be directly involved in any of this. I don’t even want much of a trace of it other than what goes on in this office. What I’m saying is that I don’t want my name on any of this.”

“I understand. There are things I’ve got in mind where I wouldn’t want my name on them, either. Fortunately, we can do a lot of this and keep it pretty much untraceable. I mean, I wouldn’t actually be doing anything, just unofficially passing along a few tips. There won’t be much of it on paper, if anything.”

“That’s what I’d hoped for,” Royce nodded. “The other thing is that I don’t want to get going on this right now. I want to wait until I get ready to dump the main suit on them.”

“I get it. When it hits, they won’t know whether to shit or go blind.”

“You get the picture. It’s going to be several months before that happens, so this is mostly going to have to be in the planning stage, unless there’s some minor preparation that absolutely has to be done to get things rolling.”

“Right, timing is everything. All I can say is that I’ll think about it, and maybe I can come up with some other ideas. What I just told you is mostly off the top of my head, and I’m sure I will come up with some better ones once I’ve had a chance to think about it.”

“Good. I want to be as hands-off about this as I can manage, and it strikes me that it would be good if you were pretty hands-off about it, too. Since you seem to understand what I want you to do, I’m going to trust you to deal with the details. I’ll let you know when I want them to get hit with this, but it won’t be before spring.”

“With that much time I’m pretty sure I can set up something. Now, do you want to give me the details about whose life we’re going to make miserable?”

Royce felt pretty good as he walked out of the lawyer’s office and continued on to drop in on one of his stores. The cost for this part of his project was going to be reasonable for the amount of grief it would give to Maxine and Milt, even if only part of what Benson had promised worked out.

He had most of the ducks he needed now. Oh, there would be other arrangements to make, but it would just take waiting until the time was exactly right. It was going to be hard to wait.

Tammy Meyerson had been careful to not let it be known around college that she was a licensed private investigator, at least part time. It didn’t happen often, but this was not the first time that her father had asked her to look into another student, so it was something worth keeping quiet about.

Tammy was a fairly good-looking girl, if appearing a little average among the student population, which was just how she wanted it. She was about average height for a girl, had an adequate if unspectacular chest, and had short blonde hair, mostly because it made it easier for her to don a wig if she felt she needed to. She was good at disguises, a talent she’d been taught by her mother. In addition to her regular classes, she was a regular at a karate dojo in town, and could take care of herself if she had to. Although she didn’t have a gun on campus – the college was a little paranoid about that – she had a concealed carry permit and knew how to use one, having been taught and kept in practice at a gun club near home. Like her father, she’d only rarely carried a gun and had never had the need to use one, but occasionally there was the possibility of an awkward situation where having a friend in her pocket could be useful.

She paused in the doorway of the college cafeteria looking for Mike Gearing. She knew him slightly – it was a small college, after all – but figured that he was the logical place to start if she really wanted to get the goodies on Barry Keller. Since it was lunchtime she was not surprised to find the two of them sitting together. She got her tray and filled it with a burger, fries, and a coke, then went over to the two roomies. “Hey, guys,” she said sweetly. “The place is kind of full. Can I sit here?”

“Sure, glad to have you,” Mike smiled.

Tammy set down her tray and started on her lunch, talking with the two guys about the upcoming holiday and other unimportant things. Finally she asked casually, “Hey, Mike. I’m kind of bored and need to unwind a little from a project I’ve got for class. How about if we get together tonight for a few beers, and, uh . . .”

“I’m up for it,” Mike replied. He clearly was not used to having a girl come up and hit on him, and he acted like he liked it.

“How about me?” Barry smirked. “I could come along.”

“No, I don’t think so,” Tammy smirked. “You’ve got a girlfriend, Barry, and well, uh, three is a crowd, you know. I mean, especially if, uh . . .”

“Some guys get all the luck,” he shook his head.

This ought to be easy, Tammy thought. Get a few beers in Mike and he’ll spill everything he knows about Barry without even thinking about it. Besides, he was kind of cute in his way, and if things happened to go in that direction, well, a girl could do a lot worse for a one night stand. It had been a long time, after all.

When Royce got back to his office that afternoon, there was a memo from Jeremy waiting on his desk. He took a few minutes to glance it over, to see that it was an action plan for getting the new sub shops going. There were a lot of holes, of course – at this stage there couldn’t help but be, considering all the unknowns – but the basic pieces seemed to be in place, and generally what Royce had been thinking in the first place.

There was a handwritten note attached to the memo: I hope this is what you want. However, I have some questions I need guidance on. –J

That wasn’t surprising, since Royce had some questions himself, mostly coming from the fact that he was trying to accomplish two things at once. The first, of course, was to take a serious shot back at Maxine and Milt, but in the long run he wanted to come out of it with a viable, profit-making business that could be expanded and possibly franchised. Setting up the sub shops was going to be far and away the most expensive part of his plan, but it was the only part where the financial goals had potential. He had little doubt that he would get his money back with interest.

In only a few minutes he was in Jeremy’s office, with the door closed. “I like what you’ve done so far,” he told his assistant. “It looks like you’ve touched on most of the main points I was concerned with. I take it to mean that you think this can be made to work.”

“I’m sure it can,” Jeremy replied. “Like the last time we talked, though, it’s going to take some money up front.”

“I see no reason we can’t spend what we need to spend to do it right. When you start something like this there are bound to be setup costs, but they can be amortized out over several years. In the meantime, it gives us some expenses we can take to the tax man, so we come out all right on that end.”

“I’m sure you realize that there are going to be operational losses until we can build up a customer base. That could take a while.”

Royce nodded. “I’m sure we can do it fairly quickly, so long as we put a good, solid promotion plan into effect, and get pretty aggressive with our pricing until we’ve got that base. That will bring people in the door, and better quality will keep them coming back. It’s not terribly different than the grocery business.”

“I understand that part of it. But, Royce, you are aware, aren’t you, that all of these locations are close to a Wilson’s Sub Shop?”

“Of course I’m aware of it. I even drove over to check things out on the ground.”

“Have you got something against those guys?”

“Yes I do, it’s personal, and it’s something I really don’t want to go into. But that doesn’t detract from the fact that this is an opportunity that we shouldn’t pass up.”

“Well, just so you know about it.”

“Jeremy, it’s pretty much the same thing as when we upgraded and expanded the Jefferson Plaza Store. Bender’s Food Mart couldn’t keep up, and now they’re hurting. I expect to see an empty store with a ‘for sale’ sign on it before very much longer. As far as Wilson’s is concerned, if they can’t stand the heat they need to get out of the kitchen. They’ve proved that there’s an adequate customer base in those areas, so we don’t need to do much market research.”

“I think you’re right when you put it that way. In any case, I’ve been over there myself and checked out the available properties. There are six of them within half a block of the five stores. Three of them would be suitable for drive-up lanes.”

“Those are always good.”

“The others are not as good. One of the remaining ones is small, and it’s probably the farthest from the existing Wilson location. On the other hand, it’s available for lease cheaply, although I doubt if the owner wants to sell. He wouldn’t be opposed to an extensive build-out, so long as it doesn’t damage the existing building.”

“I guess you have to take what you can get. How about the remaining one?”

“That’s a little trickier. That’s the one where we have two possibilities. One of them is a storefront operation like the last one I was just talking about, but it’s almost as far away from the Wilson shop as the last one I mentioned. The other one is a little on the small side, so I don’t think we could set up there without a major renovation and expansion. That might take longer than the time frame you indicated. Since this is a little experimental, I think it’s an area where we could hold costs down. It might be worth picking up, since it’s potentially a drive-through location if we decide we want to expand at some point in the future. If we decide not to, it’s still a good location and we wouldn’t lose much if we decide to sell it. We even might make a buck or two, depending.”

“I know where you’re talking about, and I agree with you. It might also be an opportunity to do something else, but let’s not get too much on our plates at one time. What’s this going to cost us?”

“Amazingly enough, not as much as I expected,” Jeremy smiled as he handed over a sheet of paper summarizing the potential locations. “There are plenty of small properties like we’re talking about on the market right now.”

Royce glanced the list over. All of them were ones he’d spotted in his drive-around investigation the previous weekend, and the prices were about what he’d expected, or a little less. “All right,” he said finally. “Let’s do it. Tack down the leases, and get options or earnest money down on the purchase sites. I’d just as soon hold off the actual closing until after the first of the year for tax reasons, but otherwise, I think we’re good to go.”

“I thought you might say that. We’re still going to have plenty to do before this becomes a reality. I think we need to develop a uniform theme and style for the stores just to make everything look neat and modern. That’s going to take some thought, especially since I don’t have a name to work with yet. I’ve had some ideas on that, but nothing that really lights my fire yet.”

“Throw some names at me.”

“Sub Harbor, Sub Pack, Sub Place, Torpedo’s Subs.”

“You’re right, none of them really grab me either. Let’s think about it. We’ve got some time to figure something out.”

They turned to other details for a couple minutes before Jeremy said out of mid-air, “Hey, I’ve got it. How about Sandy’s Super Subs?”

“Might work,” Royce agreed. “Who is Sandy?”

“Who cares? We could get some good-looking girl to be a spokes-model for the TV ads, maybe for print ads. If she wants to move on, there are always plenty of good-looking girls who want to get their face on TV.”

“Sandy’s Super Subs,” he mused. “Yeah, that might work.”

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