Wes Boyd’s Spearfish Lake Tales Contemporary Mainstream Books and Serials Online |
When Sarah awoke the next morning Nanci was in her sleeping bag, fast asleep, so she knew that her friend must have been up late indeed. She got up as silently as she could, pulled on her clothes and a jacket to ward off the morning cool, and went over to the kitchen area where things were already under way. “Where’s Nanci this morning?” Kevin asked as he sipped a cup of the strong river coffee.
“Still asleep,” Sarah told him. “She was up very late, and I think praying most of the time. She seems very troubled about what she has to say later today. That’s not like Nanci at all. Do you know what it’s about?”
“Yeah, I do,” Kevin said softly. “I’ve heard her talk about it before, and it’s very sobering. Sarah, you haven’t known her very long, have you?”
“Only since last fall.”
“I was on the first trip she made down the river. You know that. The Nanci you know today is not the Nanci who Preach and I met back then, not by a long shot, and then we never saw the worst of it. She has changed in God’s hands many times more than any of us could have ever believed when we first met her, and I don’t mind saying that the change we saw in her was truly God’s work. This is going to be hard for her, Sarah. It always is, but I think this time is worse than normal. Let her do it in her own way, and you’ll know what this is all about soon enough.”
“All right, Kevin. I mean, if you say so.”
“I do, and I think Preach would tell you the same thing. Let’s let her sleep for now, since I think she probably needs it. I’ll wander over and shake her out just before we call the customers to breakfast, as it might be better if I do it rather than you. And I think you’d better plan on riding with me this morning, because I think you’re part of the reason she’s worried.”
The conversation with Kevin didn’t settle Sarah’s mind any, not that she had any idea of what else she could do. This was all a great mystery, and Kevin had made it clear, even if Nanci hadn’t managed it, that it was best to let events play out their course.
They had breakfast and packed up about like normal, but Sarah noted that she didn’t see much of her friend in that period, and suspected she was off in the bushes or down the river someplace, praying again. Whatever this was all about, she hoped it would work out for the best.
Nanci appeared from wherever it was she’d gotten to in time to load the rafts. As they were getting organized, Sarah heard Nanci say to her customers, “Sorry folks, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and my mind is on what I’m going to be saying later today. Please don’t mind it if I don’t seem very talkative today.”
Whatever this is, Sarah thought, it sure seems to be troubling her.
Now that she was on her third trip on the river, Sarah was a lot better at handling a raft, although she wasn’t up to anything like as good as the boatmen on the crew. Perhaps it was because Kevin realized that she was troubled about Nanci, he let her row the raft through the one big rapids they’d see today; it was perhaps the biggest and most difficult she’d ever run, although she did it under his watchful eye.
Once they were past the rapids, Upset, Kevin told a story of Shorty Burton, a boatman years before who had lost his life in a flip there. He had been well known for making pies on a camp stove, and boatmen had started wiring a pie pan up on a nearby rock in memory of him. The National Park Service, wanting to keep the place natural and pristine, kept tearing it down, but boatmen from his company, and later the others, kept putting a pie pan back up as soon as they noticed it was missing. Since there were more boatmen than there were park rangers, the Park Service finally had no choice but to unofficially concede defeat; Kevin pointed out the pan as they drifted by.
Sarah had realized since the night before that the place they were heading was the mouth of Havasu Creek, a place that Nanci had described to her before as her special spot in all the world, and sure enough, that was where the rafts pulled in. There was the usual hustle and bustle at unloading, but this time the food and tables and things stayed on the rafts pulled up in the mouth of the creek, at least for now. “Let’s go up to the top of this ledge,” Preach told everyone. “We’ll have our service there, and then we’ll have lunch. Those who want can go on a short hike, and let me tell you, the side canyon upstream from here is one of the prettiest places in the Canyon. For now, let’s let Reverend Chladek tell the story she wants to tell.”
“I don’t think it’s a case of want to tell, Reverend Whittaker,” Nanci said shyly. “I think it’s more a case of I have to tell it, and of all the possible places, this is the place to tell it.”
She turned to the group, who had settled on ledges along the broken cliff; Sarah was sitting next to Kevin, just by chance. “I know that Preach said last night that this is a very special spot for me, and it is. It is my most special spot in all the world.”
Nanci’s voice gained firmness and clarity as she went on. “It was at this spot that I became a Christian,” she said. “Preach and Kevin were here. It was at this spot where I gave my first sermon, and again Preach and Kevin were here. And it was at this spot where I got down on my knees and asked God to provide guidance about whether I was to continue to pursue a career in the ministry. For those reasons, it is my special spot in all the world.
“I am a fairly new Christian compared to some of you. When I first came to this spot, I was not a Christian. In fact, I was about as far from being a good Christian as I could be. I’m not going to mince words. In the years before I first came to this spot, I was a drunken slut. I was a crack whore. I was a heroin addict. And I was a sex slave.”
There were looks of wonderment, and even gasps from the crowd gathered around her; everyone had known her as an always thoughtful and faithful Christian, taking real joy in her religion. Sarah could scarcely believe her ears as Nanci went on.
“You ask, how could I have done those things? At least partly because I was young and stupid, but mostly because I had never acknowledged the presence of God in my life, so He had to teach me a lesson. It was a hard lesson, harder than you can believe, and I barely survived it. But by the Grace of God, I did survive it to stand here in front of you today. So this, brothers and sisters in Christ, is not a simple sermon. Rather, it is my testimony of how God reached out to save a sinner like me.”
Nanci began to tell her story. She’d been a pretty normal kid in school in the outskirts of Chicago, but had been what she called “a nasty little brat.” She started drinking early, started having sex early, while still in middle school. While she may or may not have been the wildest of the kids she knew, she was one of the quicker to get into things she shouldn’t have done, and that included sampling several sorts of drugs.
She barely made it out of high school but wound up going to a college far away from home, where she could run even wilder. Her first attempt at a college career included lots of drinking and sex, but ironically few drugs, mostly because, as she said, “I was mostly hanging around with hockey players who were subject to drug testing, but somehow they never got tested for alcohol consumption.”
She didn’t make it out of her first year of college; she had to go home in disgrace, and at the first opportunity she moved in with a boy she had known in college; it led to just more drinking, some drugs, and getting beaten up several times. That ended when the guy tangled with her sister Crystal, who was a black belt; he was carried off to the hospital, and then to jail. In the aftermath she took up with another guy who didn’t drink much, but more than made up for it with drugs. When his drug debt got too large, she was literally traded to his dealer, who forced her to be a prostitute to pay the guy’s drug debts. She told several stories of the degradation she’d gone through, along with talking about the drugs that were used on her to keep her docile.
When she stopped to take a breath in the middle of things, Kevin whispered to Sarah, “She’s going into more detail than I’ve ever heard when she’s told this story before.”
Sarah just sat there in disbelief as Nanci went on with her story, and worse was to come. When she’d gotten to the point where she was so strung out that she couldn’t even be a worthwhile prostitute any longer, she was traded to another guy who had used her as a sex slave. He didn’t use as many drugs to keep her in submission, but instead preferred to use beatings, pain, and torture.
Slowly but intensely, Nanci told the story of another captive, who finally had enough of living like that, and killed herself with a massive drug overdose. After her captor had gone out to buy more drugs, Nanci, in her words, “Stood over Allie’s body and realized that she might not have had such a bad idea. I was looking for something to kill myself with when I found my car keys, which had been taken from me.”
She made her escape, but had nowhere to go. The only possibility was her sister Crystal, who the last she had heard was working for Canyon Tours. In considerable pain and hunger, with many bruises, aching for a fix of heroin and not having much money, she set out on the long drive to Flagstaff. It was her final hope; if she couldn’t find her sister, she’d determined to kill herself anyway. “As luck or the Lord would have it, Crystal was not only still working for Canyon Tours, but she was getting set to go on a very special river trip, the one where my mother was going to marry Al. They had no idea what to do with me, and the best answer they could come up with was to take me along and hope that I could pull myself together somehow.”
In the next few minutes Nanci went on to relate how Preach, Kevin, and her newly-met sister-in-law Tanisha had managed to bring her to understand that she needed to give her life to Jesus to save it. “Right down there in the creek where the rafts are tied up, I asked Jesus to be my savior, and half an hour later I was baptized into the community of believers. You have heard about being born again. I was. My life changed for the better at that spot. I realized that being a Christian was better than anything I could have done on my own, and I set out to learn all I could about being one. God took away the lust, the booze, the heroin, and everything else. I was washed in the blood of the Lamb, I turned from my evil ways, and I did my best to follow a righteous life. The result was that a year and a few days after being saved, I gave my first sermon, my testimony that I just gave to you, standing right on this spot where I stand now. And here, on this spot a year and a half ago, I decided with God’s help to dedicate my life to ministering to others.”
“What does all that mean? It means that there is truth to the statement that we can turn from sin, turn from our evil ways, and be forgiven for our sins by turning to Jesus. After I gave that first sermon I just told you about, I mentioned to a troubled young girl who reminded me very much of Allie, ‘If you want to see one of God’s miracles, here I am. I am walking, rowing, living, breathing evidence of God’s Grace, and I know it better than anyone.’”
“I have seen Satan’s works. I have seen the dark side. I can tell you that it exists and that there is plenty to fear there. We all know the words from Psalms, ‘Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil.’ I can tell you that I walked through the valley, and while I managed to survive, barely, I did it with plenty of fear of evil just because God wasn’t with me. I don’t plan on walking through that valley ever again, but if ever I do have to I know that God will always be at my side.
“So yes, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m pretty new as a Christian. But I know very well the most important part of being a Christian, which is that by believing in God and turning my life over to Jesus, I am forgiven of the many sins that I have committed. My faith may be new but it is strong, for I have ample evidence of what it has done for me, and for what He has done for me as a result of that faith.”
“That is my testimony, folks. I am ashamed of the life I used to lead, but I am not ashamed to admit that God and some good people led me away from it to be the person who stands in front of you today. Yes, I’m a minister now, and I’m well on the way to being ordained, but I can never forget the sinner I used to be. I hope that finding out about the dark part of my life hasn’t upset you and made you think less of me. I often refrain from getting into the details of my past because I don’t want to upset people, but I am what I am and I can’t deny it. But if you ever have someone tell you that trusting in Jesus can’t change their lives, you have permission to tell them my story to try to teach them that they’re wrong.”
On the occasions when Nanci gave her testimony down at the mouth of Havasu Creek, she usually gave a somewhat longer sermon about salvation and trusting in Jesus, then gave a prayer asking for rededication to the Lord. However, this time she felt like she had said what she had to say, so all she did was say “thank you,” and asked Preach to close the service as she went over to sit on a nearby rock, seemingly exhausted. It had been a very intense speech, and at times there had been people in the audience leaking tears, especially in the part where she told about Allie’s taking her own life, giving her the strength to save hers.
“That is the seventh time I’ve heard Nanci give her testimony at this spot,” Preach said barely loud enough for the group to hear, but the weight of his words were heavy indeed. “Every time it leaves me in awe of the power of God’s Grace. Yes, I had a bit part in leading Nanci to salvation, and I think Kevin did more than I did. But I will tell you, as Kevin and I have watched Nanci grow in the Lord over the years, I think I can say that it is possibly the most miraculous story I’ve ever been involved with. God can take us when we are nothing, and build us up in His image to make us much more than we could ever be on our own. If I ever doubt it, I only have to look to Nanci to see the proof of His Grace with my own eyes.
“Let us pray.
“Dear God, Let us come before You humbly to ask once again for Your forgiveness that we earn by believing in Your Son. Help us to turn against our evil ways, and walk in Your light as You would have us do. Strengthen our faith, so that we might better do Your will. Help us to bring glory to Your name instead of dishonor. Help us walk in the path of righteousness, never forgetting our respect toward our fellow man. Help us to be better examples of what You would want us to be.
“We are but sinners and need forgiveness. We believe that Jesus Christ shed His precious blood and died for our sin. We are willing to turn from sin, and invite Christ into our hearts and lives as our personal Savior.
“This we ask in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
There was a chorus of Amens in response before Preach went on. “This is the place where I was the one to baptize Nanci in the waters of Havasu Creek a few years ago. I think it’s appropriate, and I know Reverend Chladek does too, to say that if anyone feels like they would like to be rebaptized to rededicate themselves to God’s service, we’ll be ready to be of service.”
They had to shove a raft out of the way to get to the place where it was easiest to be in the water, but several people took them up on it, discovering that the creek was much warmer than the river. After the ceremony ended, Preach said that they might as well set up for lunch. “We’ve already been here longer than I intended,” he told everyone. “And everyone should take the opportunity to walk up the creek a ways to see some more of God’s wonders. So let’s just take our time. When we get done here we’ll run to the first open campsite and call it a day. It will mean we’ll have to run a long day tomorrow to get back on schedule, but after today I doubt if anyone will mind.”
Things were still on an elevated plane for quite a while, and a number of people took the time to talk with Nanci, to thank her for telling her story, and for the inspiration it gave them. She was busy enough that the other boatmen were getting close to tearing down the lunch line before she got a chance to make herself a sandwich.
After they were done eating, Kevin, Preach, Brett, and Angie, with Herbie, the swamper tryout on this trip, led virtually all of the customers up the narrow canyon of Havasu Creek. Sarah and Nanci stayed behind, sitting down at the rafts in the little shade there was from the overhanging cliff. Somehow it felt awkward for the two of them to talk.
“Nanci,” Sarah said after a couple of minutes of silence, “I had no idea that you’d ever gone through anything like that. Every now and then you’ve said you led a hard life before you became a Christian, but I never even dreamed it would have been like that.”
“I probably told more of the story than I ever have before,” Nanci said. “I didn’t intend to, but I guess God took over my mouth. I just hope I didn’t disappoint you by what I said.”
“How did you expect me to be disappointed about hearing a story like that?”
“Sarah, please don’t think I’m trying to hurt you by saying what I’m about to say. Ever since I met you, I’ve known you were a good person, and you were brought up to be that way. From the first time I met you, I doubted that you had the slightest comprehension of the realities of the life I used to lead. I hope you think I’m a good person, and a good Christian, but now that you know the truth about me, well, I can’t help but wonder if you still want to be my friend.”
“Of course I do,” she replied. “Yes, and I’m using your words, you were a drunken slut, a crack whore, a drug addict, and a sex slave. But that’s what you were then, and not what you are now, which is the greatest evidence of the power of God’s Grace that I’ve ever been privileged to meet. I’m not disappointed in you Nanci. I’m in awe of you, and I want to be your friend more than ever.”
“Thank you, Sarah,” she said. “I’ve been worried about that for days. I’ve been worried about you, Sarah, especially since your parents left you sitting high and dry. I’ve been worried about how you can make it in the world with the naïveté they left you with. I mean, I know the kind of challenges that are out there, since I’ve been there and done that. I’ve tried to do what I could to get you ready to meet them on your own. In less than a year we’ll probably be going our separate ways. I have no idea of what’s going to happen to either of us, but I hope to have you a little more ready to face the challenges you’re going to have to face than you were when I met you.”
“So you were worried that telling me the truth about your past would scare me off, and it would hurt me as a result?”
“That’s it in a nutshell.”
“Well, don’t worry about it any more. I hate to see you worried, but I can see how you would be worried about it.”
“Thanks, Sarah. That means a lot to me.”