Jane’s head was swimming by the time she got back in her car and drove to the apartment she shared with Madelyn, and not just from the pair of wine coolers she’d had at the Silver Rail. She’d sipped at them lightly, not wanting the alcohol to overwhelm her – and that could happen all too easily, she knew all too well. She’d learned that the hard way, and, get right down to it, it was the biggest reason why she wasn’t a virgin any more.

She was not by any means sold on the idea of getting married to this Rick guy, at least not on the strength of what Sophia had told her so far, but the idea had, well, potential. It was certainly something to think about and investigate a little more. One thing was clear: she wasn’t going to commit herself to marrying him sight unseen, but because of Sophia’s sketch she might not be as careful as she would if she’d met the guy on the street.

She’d pretty well made clear to Sophia that while she wasn’t sold on the idea, she was at least interested in it enough to want to know more, and to think about it a little. The two of them had wound up sitting in the Silver Rail for a couple hours, exploring several points of the idea. One thing seemed clear, though: Sophia at least planned on being involved as long as she needed to, as a mediator or facilitator or meddling grandmother or shoulder to cry on. That might make things go a little easier.

“I’ve pretty well come to love Rick like he was one of my grandchildren,” Sophia had said. “That means I want the best for him, and I want to see him pull out of his problems and have a good life. I’ll do what I can to make it happen.” In a way that made Jane envy Rick a little. Well, more than a little. The one grandmother of Jane’s still living was a dried-up, grumpy, whiny old bat who had been sour about the way life had treated her for as long as Jane could remember. She was part of the reason Jane didn’t want to have much to do with Hartford: to not have to listen to that stuff, of course, but as an object lesson of the crap that could get handed to her if she were dumb enough to try to make a life in her home town.

And, if this deal were to come off, she sure as hell wouldn’t want the details to be known or she’d really catch hell from Grandma Mavis. She’d been married once, somewhere around half a century before, give or take, but her husband had only been able to put up with the crap he’d taken from her for so long and had disappeared, never to be heard from again. On balance, Jane couldn’t say that she blamed him, either. If this thing with Rick were to happen – not that it was a foregone conclusion by any means – then there was another good reason to stay away from Hartford, not that she lacked reason enough already.

But the odds seemed likely that it wasn’t going to happen. She still couldn’t get a good mental picture of Rick from Sophia’s description; something seemed to be missing, and most likely something important. Even if she had been getting more or less the right impression, accomplishing what Sophia seemed to want to achieve with him seemed like a hell of a challenge. Even with the money that was apparently involved in this admittedly unusual idea, Jane wasn’t sure she was up to it. About all she could do was tell Sophia that it was something to think about, but that she shouldn’t get up much hope about it.

As luck would have it, Jane managed to find a parking space at her apartment, something that didn’t always happen. But also as luck would have it, she could see that Madelyn had beaten her home, which wasn’t good news – it meant that any chance of having a peaceful evening to think about the deal was shot in the butt before it started.

Well, she thought, if Madelyn gets into one of her moods it’s still possible to hike up the street to Stumpy’s, the neighborhood bar, and have another two or three more wine coolers. It was a quiet and low-key enough place that she wasn’t likely to get hit on by some drunk, even if she didn’t really feel like she wanted to go there by herself. And the odds that Madelyn would be in one of her moods were pretty good – she often was, these days.

Boy, that’s one thing in favor of this deal with Rick, she thought as she sat in her old Nissan, somehow unwilling to leave its peace and quiet. If I can get along well enough to live with someone like Madelyn, I ought to be able to get along with almost anyone.

It would have been nice to say that she liked her roommate, but for the most part she didn’t. They managed to occupy the same space, but when she got right down to it she hadn’t had a worse roommate, even the pot smoker back when she’d been a sophomore, her first year in Boulder. The best that could be said was that they split the cost of the apartment, which made it possible for her to hang on in Boulder until something better came along. She’d met Madelyn through an ad on a bulletin board several months before, when her dwindling funds and small paycheck from the Mountain Grove meant that she was going to have to do something, not that she knew what that something was going to be.

Under different circumstances Jane might have been able to like Madelyn. She was a good-looking blonde, and even called herself “high maintenance,” which rubbed in the “Plain Jane” feeling Jane often suffered from. She could be very condescending about it and very irritating at times. Worse, she had a serious boyfriend, another fact Madelyn often rubbed Jane’s nose in.

Jane had met Madelyn’s boyfriend Walter Long on several occasions. He was a good-looking son of a gun, she had to admit that, but he knew it and didn’t mind who else knew it as well. Although Madelyn and Walter were engaged, Jane’s impression of him was that he didn’t take it very seriously. At least two or three wedding dates had been set and abandoned in the past year – Jane wasn’t very sure of the details since a lot of it had taken place before she started rooming with Madelyn. The two of them seemed to spend a lot of time alone in her room doing what came naturally and making no little amount of noise at it. That really irritated Jane since she hadn’t even had anything that even resembled a date in all the time she’d been rooming with Madelyn.

That was bad enough, but Jane was sure that Madelyn was heading for trouble with him. Walt was the kind of guy who considered it his duty to try to score with any woman who came along; he’d even hit on her several times, in a joking sort of way, but Jane hadn’t taken it as a joke even though Madelyn seemed to.

The bottom line was that while Jane considered Madelyn sort of a friend even though she didn’t particularly like her, Walt just plain rubbed her the wrong way. If the two of them ever screwed up badly enough to actually get married, Jane would have been willing to bet every cent she had that the marriage would wind up in a divorce court if they were lucky, or with knives or small-caliber weapons if they weren’t.

All of which gave her plenty of food for thought when considering this deal with Rick. If two people who knew each other as well as Madelyn and Walt were that mismatched and were still at least considering getting married, then what did that portend for this deal with Rick?

After all, even Jane could see that her roommate’s relationship was headed for disaster. Maybe Sophia had a point – after all, an independent outsider might not be as blind as Madelyn seemed to be.

But, for whatever reason, Madelyn stayed with Walt. She was really hung up on him. Even if Walt wasn’t there, he was bound to be the main topic of Madelyn’s conversation, often just to rub in how she had a boyfriend when Jane didn’t.

As Jane headed up to her apartment from her car, she was a little amused at the reaction that she’d get from Madelyn if she were to go through with this deal with Rick right out of the clear blue sky, without any of the drama that Jane had seen her going through with Walt. That made one thing perfectly clear – it wasn’t time to bring this up to Madelyn, at least not yet.

She hadn’t seen Walt’s car parked outside, so that might mean that Madelyn might be there without him, or even better, might be out with him somewhere. That would give Jane a chance to sit and think about this whole thing without interruptions from her roomie.

Well, either way there was no putting it off. Well, yes there was; she could head down to Stumpy’s right now and have a bar burger and a few wine coolers. But it was still several days to payday and the contents of her pocket were a bit on the slim side in spite of that hundred Sophia had given her earlier. It was something to save for emergencies after all.

There was nothing to do but unlock the door and go inside, where she found Madelyn watching the news on TV, though she hit the mute button when she saw Jane come in. “You’re late,” she said. “I was beginning to wonder.”

“I met an interesting woman, and we had a couple drinks,” Jane explained as she silently, reminded herself to not get into a discussion of what she’d been talking about with Sophia.

“Well, good,” Madelyn said, a hint of her usual sarcasm in her voice. You need to get out and socialize some, rather than just going over the want ads. So what was this all about?”

“This woman is old enough to be my grandmother. In fact, she is a grandmother. She wanted my opinion on a couple things, and it turned out to be a fairly interesting discussion, mostly about her sort-of grandson.”

“Sort-of? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing in particular, just that he’s a good friend of hers.”

“Was she trying to set you up with him?”

“Well, maybe in an off-hand way,” Jane replied defensively. “It’s just that he has some problems, and she wanted a younger person’s opinions on them. It was really kind of interesting, and it made something interesting to do for a change. From what she said it doesn’t sound to me like he’s anything like my type. It was just neat to be able to sit down and talk with someone new. I meet a lot of people on the job but I hardly ever get to talk to them much, or even know them at all.”

“You should get out and meet some real people, not the kind of squares you meet at that restaurant. How are you ever going to find a guy at a place like that? That’s not the kind of place Walt and I would go on a bet. You need to find a guy like Walt and get some romance in your life.”

“It’s a job, and I need one,” Jane protested, and decided to try to change the subject. “And it could be worse, but shit, this was a long day, even though it wasn’t very busy. I want to get my shoes off, have a shower, and find something to eat sitting down.”

“I was wondering if you might like to go out and get something,” Madelyn replied, sounding surprisingly reasonable. “There’s a new Persian restaurant I heard about across town.”

“Not tonight,” Jane said. “I’m really not in the mood for expensive ethnic food and couldn’t afford it anyway. I had a pretty solid lunch, so I’m thinking in terms of something simple and light. Maybe ramen noodles or something.”

“God, I don’t know how you can eat shit like that. Maybe if you had a boyfriend, he could take you out to eat in a decent restaurant once in a while.”

Jane decided to overlook the comment, as usual. “Ramen is food that I can afford, and it’s what I’m in the mood for tonight,” she replied evenly. “I think I’m just going to have a thrilling, exciting evening of going through the help wanted ads in the Post.” So maybe I can get out of this dump and away from you, she added mentally. I’ve had about all I want of getting my nose rubbed in the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend as nice as you seem to think Walt is, the creep. You’d be better off if you dumped him, but you’d never believe me. “So are you going to be seeing Walt tonight?” she asked as innocently as possible.

“Probably not. He and some friends decided to head into Denver and catch a Nuggets game. I think they’re crazy as hell, and they’ll probably come back smelling of beer and peanuts. I decided this was one time I could take a pass.”

What are the odds, Jane thought, that Walt wasn’t at a ball game at all, but with some other woman? Pretty good. Madelyn, you need to wake up and smell the coffee sometime. “Well, good,” she replied. “Maybe you need a night off. I’m going to go get a shower.”

She headed for her room, closed the door, and began to peel off her clothes. The idea of a shower sounded pretty good, and she couldn’t help but be amused at the memory of Sophia’s comment about showering together. Right at the moment it sounded pretty good, especially if it ended with getting porked, as Madelyn often put it. Maybe not with Rick, but with someone. Someone male, that is.

Once Jane was undressed, she pulled on a bathrobe for the trip to the bathroom. It was something she wouldn’t have bothered with if she’d been living alone. Just supposing, she thought, this deal with Rick went through – would she bother with a robe then?

The thought stayed with her as she got into the bathroom, turned the shower on and took off the robe. A smile crossed her lips as she once again remembered Sophia’s comment about showering together, and right at the moment it seemed like it could be fun. What’s more, she could see how it could lead to some fun sex, which seemed a lot more rewarding than this evening stuck in the apartment with Madelyn was likely to be. Some sex like that could really be fun, not that she’d ever really had the chance to experience fun sex.

The truth was, she admitted to herself, that while she wasn’t a virgin, she’d never had any real fun out of sex. It wasn’t that the idea was unappealing, or that she thought she might be a lesbian. It was just that her experience was limited and had always had alcohol involved, right back to the time with Howie Newton right after the prom back home; the best she could call that was awkward and uncomfortable in the back seat of Howie’s Ford. After it was over with, she hadn’t really wanted to try for something better with Howie, and he apparently didn’t either.

Her other three experiences, one in Greeley and two here in Boulder had been similar except for the fact that a prom dress hadn’t been involved. She only had vague and uncomfortable memories of them, mostly because she’d been pretty drunk each time. Good sex – well, it was clear that it existed and she knew she wanted to experience it some time, but it had just never happened for her.

Assuming this deal with Rick actually happened, would she have good sex to enjoy? Good question! Sophia had come right out and said that as far as she knew Rick was a virgin, and from the description Sophia had given, Jane could believe it – at least when she considered guys she’d known slightly who more or less fit her mental picture of Rick. A first time with him probably wouldn’t be a hell of a lot less awkward than the time with Howie, but at least it ought to be in a bed and she might not be drunk. After all, it had been those experiences that had caused her to dial back her drinking a lot the last few years.

But after that – well, who knew? A little practice might improve things considerably. But sex wasn’t everything in a relationship: that much she was sure of. In fact, it was a minor part of day-to-day relationships. Sophia had indicated that Rick had a lot of problems, partly due to the fact that he was at heart an obsessive computer geek, and partly due to the fact that, from what Sophia had said, he couldn’t be one right now, so just who the hell knew what all that would involve?

On the other hand, could Rick be as bad to live with as Madelyn often was? She could put up with Madelyn – albeit with difficulty at times, to be sure – so there didn’t seem to be any reason she might not be able to live with Rick, at least based on what she knew now. Oh, there could be other problems, things Sophia either hadn’t told her or didn’t know about yet, but if they didn’t work out as a couple there was always the agreement of a big payout at the end. Something to think about . . .

All of a sudden Jane became aware of the fact that she’d been standing there outside the shower while it was running, without getting in. She had no idea how long she’d been standing there but it wasn’t as short time. With a sigh, she grabbed the washcloth and stepped on in.

It was warm, on the edge of being too warm, but it felt good. Since she wasn’t planning on going anywhere this evening it was a good time to wash her hair, so she got it wet and began to lather it up, but her mind wouldn’t let go of the idea that had been presented in the last few hours. She had to admit to herself that she was giving the idea some consideration. It wasn’t a done deal yet by any means, but she was far from rejecting it.

One thing seemed clear in her mind. She wasn’t just going to walk into it sight unseen. She had to at least meet the guy, get to know him well enough to be clear in her own mind that there was a chance, well, not of it working, but of having a fair shot at it being more or less tolerable until the point it wasn’t working. The hell of it was that she wasn’t sure how she could figure that out.

Sophia had said Rick was a pretty nice guy. Well, that was Grandma’s opinion, and spending time in an office with him wasn’t the same thing as living with him. Jane knew she’d have to form her own opinion about that. And as far as that went, how well did any two newlyweds know each other, assuming they’d been conventional and not living together for a while?

It may have been the Hartford girl in her, but at least back in her home town a couple shacking up for even a little while before getting married was all but unheard of. It had been a hell of a lot different here in Boulder, of course, where everyone didn’t know everyone else, but that didn’t apply in this case.

When you get right down to it, she thought, it was all an unknown – and something that she couldn’t know about without getting deeper into it. While the risk might be a little higher, it was nothing that a conventional couple didn’t face as a matter of course – or even an unconventional couple living together. There was plenty that could go wrong for anybody. She knew that; after all, while she didn’t particularly like Madelyn, she knew she could put up with her in spite of everything.

If I go through with this, she thought, we’ll have to have that pre-nup ironed down pretty solidly. Sophia had said it was open to negotiation, and for sure it would have to be. There was a lot to think about . . .

While the apartment she and Madelyn were in was a cheap one and not kept up very well, suitable for students trying to cheap out on the high dorm rates they charged on campus, at least it had a big community water heater, so there was no danger of running out of hot water. Jane made use of it, doing a lot of thinking about living with a guy – not necessarily Rick, just a generic guy, the kind she’d hoped to meet ever since she’d driven out of Hartford. Once again Sophia’s comment about showering together came back to her, and as her hands ran over her body it seemed to respond, with her knees getting weak at times and her mind far away. More than once she found her fingers straying to a place her mother said a girl shouldn’t go, at least not for recreation.

She finally gave in and ignored her mother’s entreaties, not for the first time, either . . . couldn’t it be nicer with someone else?

Finally Jane gave in and knew she was going to have to get out of the shower, and knowing full well that Madelyn was going to be on her case for staying in so long, or, if not that, over something else. While Madelyn was all right at times, she could be a condescending pain in the ass. Jane could put up with it for a while, but in the long run the situation she had here was pretty much intolerable, especially now that it seemed like there might be a way out lying right there in front of her. From the frying pan into the fire? It was possible, of course – but either choice was damn well uncomfortable.

Jane shut off the shower, dried off, then wrapped the towel around her hair and got her robe back on, feeling like she’d managed to work out a few things in her mind. Might as well get it over with, she thought as she opened the bathroom door.

“Jesus,” she heard Madelyn instantly. “Are you finally out? I was beginning to think you’d drowned in there. I have to shit so bad my eyeballs are turning brown.”

“I guess I sort of lost track of time,” she replied apologetically.

“Probably because you were wasting time playing with yourself while dreaming of some guy you don’t have a chance with.”

Well, yeah, but not quite like that, Jane thought sheepishly. “Well, I got to thinking about things,” is what she did say.

“Things would go a lot better for you if you got your mind off getting screwed by some guy and actually did it. You need to move on with your life, Jane, and find a guy like Walt.”

If I do find a guy, whether it’s this Rick or someone else, god help me if he’s anything like Walt, Jane thought but carefully didn’t say. “Maybe someday,” she said, mentally adding, and maybe sooner than either of us think.

“Look, you’ll never get anywhere unless you get serious about it,” Madelyn replied as she pushed her way past to the bathroom. “Sorry, but I really gotta go.”

“Sorry I took so long,” Jane said to the closing door. Thank god I got there first, she thought. She’s so full of shit tonight she’s going to stink up the place royally, and I sure wouldn’t want to take a shower after that. It wouldn’t be worth the effort.

Might as well get the ramen going, Jane thought. With any kind of luck she’ll take a nice, long healthy crap. Maybe I can get the food ready and be holed up in my room with the door closed by the time she gets done. I’ve got a lot to think about, and every time she spouts off with some of her condescending bullshit the better this deal with Sophia and Rick is looking.

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