It was a small dinner for Thanksgiving; there were just the four of them present, nothing like the much larger group that would be gathering at Jon and Tanisha’s house in Phoenix in a few hours given the time differential. While it probably couldn’t be characterized as a mob scene, there would be a pretty good collection of friends and relatives there, including the three very young kids who could be expected to keep life interesting. All of them were people who meant something to her, and who she hoped to see again. Instead of the chilly, drab day they were experiencing in West Virginia, it would most likely be warm and sunny, and probably the small pool in the back yard would get some use before the afternoon was over with.

But while it was not the best Thanksgiving Nanci had experienced, it was far from the worst, and she gave thanks that she now had friends and family to enjoy it with, whether she was with them or not.

Eventually they finished eating; Nanci helped Sarah’s mother with the dishes, just out of a spirit of pitching in. After they were done, they went into the living room, where Sarah and her father were sitting, not saying much of anything. “I suppose I ought to be heading back to Hickory Run,” Nanci said. “I’d just as soon get back before dark, considering those roads and the fact that I know there are deer all over the place. Reverend and Mrs. Lackamp, thanks for having me over for dinner. While I enjoy meals at Mrs. Keller’s, I think I’m just as glad I didn’t have to have Thanksgiving dinner there.”

“We were glad to have you,” Reverend Lackamp said. “Not only do you bring a fresh face to our lives, you bring some fresh ideas. It’s always good to meet someone your age who is as determined and devout as you are.”

“Nanci,” Sarah spoke up shyly, “do you think it would be all right if I rode back with you?”

“I don’t see any problem, but I thought you were going to stay over for the weekend.”

“Yes, but I’ve been thinking about it,” she said hesitantly. “I need to do some studying too, and if I stayed over with you I could go hear you speak at Colt Creek on Sunday. That’s a nice, friendly little church and I know you’ll have an inspiring sermon for them.”

“Oh, I’ll come up with something,” Nanci shrugged. “That’s one of the things I need to think about tomorrow and Saturday. But I suppose if you rode along it would keep your parents from having to drive the round trip after church on Sunday.”

“All right, let me go grab my things. It shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.”

“Sarah,” her father said, “there’s no great need for you to rush off. We’ve enjoyed having you home, and we thought you were planning on staying for the weekend.”

“Yes, but it’ll probably be better if I head back, especially since Nanci is going now.”

“Well, if that’s what you want to do, I guess I can’t stop you.”

In only a few minutes Nanci and Sarah were in the Camry, heading for the four-lane that was the first leg of the trip back to the seminary. They were up to speed before Nanci decided to ask, “Sarah, what brought that on?”

“I’m sorry, Nanci,” Sarah shook her head. “I just realized that I’d rather be sitting in my room at Hickory Run, staring at a book or my computer screen or the four walls. It would be a lot better than sitting around home all weekend listening to my mother and father try to tell me how wonderful Abe Bowman is and how I ought to drop everything and marry him.”

“I thought she was laying it on a little thick,” Nanci observed.

“It might not be such a bad idea if I actually liked the guy,” Sarah snorted. “I’ve met him, not often, but a couple of times. He’s almost my parent’s age, going bald, and every time he’s spoken to me it’s like I feel spiders walking all over me. I mean, he really scares me, Nanci.”

“I got the idea you didn’t think too much of him.”

“I couldn’t just come out and say that,” Sarah sighed. “I mean, he is a friend of my parents, and I didn’t want to insult them, but I will never in my life be that desperate to get married. If Methodists had nuns, I’d be one before I’d even think about marrying him.”

“That sounds pretty emphatic for you,” Nanci grinned. “You always seem pretty wishy-washy about things.”

“Nanci, I may not know what I want to do and I may have trouble in getting along on my own, but there are things I know I do not want to do. One of those things is to be a missionary and especially a missionary’s wife in a country where I don’t speak the language and can’t stand the food. I spent the first eleven years of my life living like that. I know it screwed up my life, and I don’t want to have to do it any more. And then to have to do it as the wife of a jerk like Abraham Bowman . . . well, I’m sure I can find something better to do, even if it’s running the grill in some burger shack, so long as it’s here in the States.”

“Sarah, I don’t want this to sound like I’m taking your mother’s side on this because I’m not. But I can tell you from my own experience that it can be very tough for a single girl to be out in the world with no family or other support to draw on. I’ve been there and I know. I don’t want this to sound critical, but as naïve as you are, well, it scares me more than a little. I realize that after I get ordained I’m probably going to be out in the world like that again, but for a number of reasons I think I’ll be better able to handle it, and the fact that I’m a Christian now is only one of them.”

“But . . . you always seem so confident and controlled.”

“I am now. I wasn’t always like that, Sarah. I hate to say this, but your mother is at least partly right. You need to have some family support, someone to be there if you need help. It doesn’t have to be this Bowman character, but you ought to have someone. I can say that, because I needed someone to do just that for me, and I have them now. I may be thousands of miles away, but I know I can call my mother or my sister or my brother or some others, and they’ll be there for me, just as I know I can call on God and he’ll be there for me.”

“You’re lucky to have that. I really don’t have anyone but my folks, and if they take off for Africa again, there’s not going to be much they can do to help me if I need it.”

“Do you have any other relatives?”

“Not that I’d recognize without an introduction. There are a couple of names, but no one I actually know.”

“How serious do you think your folks are about going back to Africa?”

“If the door opens, they’ll go,” Sarah shrugged. “I mean, I’ve known that as long as we’ve been back in the States. At least if they go now I won’t have to go with them. I’d go to China with Abe Bowman before I’d ever go back to Africa, so I’m just as glad that I’m old enough that I won’t have to do it. That hung over me for the longest time, at least until I was at Philemon College. At least by that time I was old enough that I could have gotten out of it, although I have no idea what I would have done if it happened.”

Nanci was a little surprised to discover that Sarah was so vehement about it. This didn’t sound like the girl she’d come to know at all. “How likely do you think it is?”

“I don’t know any more than my folks do,” she shrugged. “They seem pretty optimistic about it, but this isn’t the first time that it looked like the door might be opening either, so there’s no way of telling.”

“Sarah, I don’t know what to tell you, but I can tell you this much: I think it would be a good idea to be thinking about what you could do if it does happen.”

“I don’t know,” she shook her head. “The only thing I know for sure is that I can be at Hickory Run until a year from next spring. After that, well, I just don’t know. I once thought I’d like to be a pastor somewhere, but now I don’t know. Since I’ve gotten to know you and how well fitted for it you are, I don’t think I’d measure up to you very well. I suppose there might be a church somewhere that could use an assistant pastor or something, and I might be able to make that work.”

Nanci wanted to say that if Sarah were in such a position she might rise to the occasion, but she bit off saying it. Tough though it was to admit it, from the moment she’d met her friend she’d had doubts if she was up to the job. While Sarah had all the knowledge she might need, she was just so shy that she wasn’t very personable, and that meant it would be difficult for people to have confidence in her. She wanted to suggest that Sarah might consider even more schooling somewhere else with the idea of working toward a doctorate – but it wouldn’t be at Hickory Run, and even a couple more years of schooling would only put off the inevitable.

A mile or more went by before Nanci spoke. “You know, I hate to say it, but your mother might have part of an idea, after all.”

“You mean marry Abraham Bowman? Not hardly.”

“Well, marry someone,” Nanci shrugged. “You might make a good pastor’s wife, and you could be a lot of support to the right man.”

“I’m not going to rule that out,” Sarah replied unenthusiastically. “It’s a possibility, I suppose, and it would be better than Africa or China. But that involves problems too, like finding someone who would like to marry someone like me. I’m not sure how I’d go about finding someone, and I’m not even sure I want to be married at all. Nanci, do you realize I’ve never been on a date in my life?”

“No,” Nanci shrugged, trying to think of a way to say what she wanted to say without it being demeaning. The best she could come up with was, “I guess it doesn’t surprise me.” Unlike the overprotective parents of some girls she’d known, she would have guessed that Sarah’s parents would have at least been open to the idea of their daughter dating the right guy. But Sarah would have had to show some interest, too – and Nanci couldn’t believe she would have done so. After a moment she added, “Maybe that’s something you ought to work on.”

“It sounds good,” Sarah replied, still clearly not showing a lot of interest. “Where am I supposed to find a man like that?”

“How about Hickory Run?”

“It sounds good,” Sarah shook her head. “But think about it, and you’re in a better position to answer that question than I am. How many single men are there?”

Nanci let it roll around in her mind for a moment. She really hadn’t been looking for a mate at Hickory Run, mostly because she’d been looking well past her time at the place, but now she was analyzing potential mates if only as an intellectual exercise. It was not promising at first glance. There were only a handful of men there who were anywhere near her age, and of those most were already married or engaged. Without detailed knowledge, the ones left available were not exactly men she would have chosen as a husband. “Uh, yeah,” she said after a brief contemplation. “You might be right at that. I mean, if there were any possibilities, I would have thought they’d have made themselves available to me by now.”

“And you’re bright, outgoing and appealing,” Sarah shook her head. “Look, I know I’m a shy, mousy frump, and if someone were sizing me up I don’t know what I’d do about it. Besides, I don’t know if I’d be able to handle being married, anyway.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, come on, you know what I mean. Nanci, have you ever had a boyfriend?”

“More or less,” Nanci shrugged. She had an inkling of where this was going to go, and it was something she really didn’t want to get into very deeply with Sarah. “Years ago, I had guys who I thought were boyfriends, but they turned out to not be in the long run. I’d have been better off without them.”

“Did you ever, uh, do it with them?”

Yes, this was going just exactly where Nanci had suspected it was going, but she didn’t want to lie about it, but she didn’t want to get into very much detail, either. “It was before I became a Christian, Sarah.”

“Did you like it?”

“That’s not an easy question to answer. I suppose I liked it well enough at times, but there were times I didn’t like it very much.” She was very tempted to get into more detail, but she still didn’t want to shock her friend. “I think now that it would have been a lot better if it had been with the right guy, but I was too dumb and blind to realize it at the time. Sarah, even before I became a Christian I made up my mind that I’m only going to go to bed with one more man in my life, and that’ll be after I marry him. That was years ago and I haven’t had any reason to even think about changing my mind.”

“So you can say you’ve done it enough to know that from experience, right?”

“I guess.”

Sarah let out a sigh. “Nanci, I was probably eight or nine before I realized what had to go on between a man and a woman, and I couldn’t imagine why I would ever want to lay on my back and let a man poke his thing into me. It was still years before I realized that was how things were supposed to work, but I still don’t think I’d like it very much. I mean, if I had to I guess I could do it, since that’s a part of being married, but I still don’t think I’d want to do it.”

“It’s not that bad,” Nanci shook her head. “Look, I’m not trying to talk you into it or anything, but it can be pretty good if you’re open to it. But a lot of things have to be right, and well, I never had them all in the same place. I think it would have been a lot easier if I’d been married to the right guy.”

“You might be right, but knowing I have that hanging in my future, there’s another reason to not want to go looking for a guy.”

Nanci nodded, thinking about Sarah’s statement. That could be a real stumbling block, all right. The right guy and the right circumstances might be able to overcome it, but putting all the pieces together might be close to impossible. “Have you prayed about this?”

“Ever since I was a little girl,” her friend sighed. “If the Lord opens that door for me, I’m certainly willing to follow his leading, but I’m not really anxious to have it opened until the time is right.”

Conversation fell off in the car after that, at least partly because there were heavy thoughts hanging on both of them. Life, or the Lord, or Sarah’s fears had certainly backed her into a corner, Nanci thought. There didn’t seem to be any simple or obvious answers, either. She was sure of one thing: the Lord wouldn’t have gotten Sarah into this spot by chance. There had to be some reason, some motive, but it was beyond Nanci’s understanding.

She wanted to help Sarah; she really did. Back when she’d first met her suitemate, Nanci had not been enthusiastic about the young woman, but she’d soon realized that God must have put the two of them together for a purpose. Could it have been for God to teach her how to deal with Sarah’s problem, or at least to be a tool to help solve it as preparation for her ministry? It seemed like a good possibility, for she believed that God had a purpose in everything that happened to His children.

The two of them drove down the winding roads through the drab and dilapidated countryside and the fading light of a dreary afternoon, that was enough to drag their spirits down right there. It was good to turn onto the familiar road into Hickory Run and park the car in the lot beside Mrs. Keller’s place. At least the lights in the windows seemed to welcome them back. It was, for now, about the only sanctuary Sarah had left, and it was clear that it wouldn’t be that way forever – it was only a stop on the way to other things, whatever they were.

They stopped briefly to let Mrs. Ellison know that Sarah was going to be there for the rest of the weekend after all. Their spirits were buoyed by the fact that the landlady had made more cherry pie than she had needed; a piece of that each, no matter how full they were after the dinner at the Lackamps, helped to get things into a little more perspective. But soon, both retreated to their rooms.

“I need to spend some time with my devotions,” Nanci told Sarah as she turned into her room. It was code they both understood: leave me alone, I want to pray.

“I think I do, too,” Sarah replied. “Then I think maybe I’ll do some studying.”

“Me, too,” Nanci agreed. “See you later, or maybe at breakfast.”

Nanci went into the room carrying her small duffel bag, and took a few items from it to put in her laundry bag; that was something else she needed to deal with tomorrow. While the long skirt she wore was comfortable on as chilly a day as this, right at the moment it felt uncomfortable, so she unzipped it and hung it up on her clothes rack with her few other hanger clothes. Since she was dead sure she wasn’t going to be going out again, she pulled on a comfortable pair of jeans, then did the rest of the limited amount of unpacking she needed to do. But all the while as she was doing those mundane chores, she was preparing herself mentally to have a little close-up time with God.

In the years since Nanci had first fallen to her knees and asked Jesus to come into her heart at a place far different than her cozy little room at Mrs. Keller’s Place, she’d prayed a lot, and more often than she would have dreamed. A dozen times a day, two dozen, or more, she asked God to watch over her and help her with whatever decision or task was concerning her, to the point where it had become nearly as automatic as breathing to her. Then there were the public prayers, such as opened every meal in the dining hall downstairs or every class in the seminary up the street, and she was used to that, as well.

But then there was her private prayer, her own special time with her Savior. It was something she did nearly every day, although she might miss a session now and then, like when she’d been at the Lackamps’ the night before. For some reason she hadn’t felt truly open to God’s Will, and she knew better than to go before Him in that attitude; He wouldn’t appreciate it, and she wouldn’t either.

Given a choice she would have lit a candle and set it before her, but she knew candles were not appreciated in this old dry wood building, so she didn’t do it. Instead, when she felt ready to go before God, she got down on her knees, and assumed the special position she almost always took in her private prayers – head down, hands on her knees, palms open and up. It was the only hangover left from the worst days of her life, days she didn’t care to remember, but at least in her mind it signified to God that she was coming before Him with the intent of hiding nothing from Him. Only a handful of people – Sarah not among them – had ever seen her praying like that, and no one had ever questioned why she did it that way. It was something very personal to her, and she felt it was not anyone’s business but God’s and her own.

She knelt like that for a while, until she truly felt His presence. “Master,” she said softly, “as always, I ask You to take Allie into Your arms, to hold her tight and give her the love she was denied on Earth. I don’t know what You have in mind for Sarah, but lead me to do Your will in helping her, because the help she needs is far beyond the little I can do to help her, but well within Your powers. Lord, You know what is on my mind, so all I ask is that You help me to do Your will.”

Her words stopped after that, stopped for a very long time. She often wasn’t verbal in her prayers, preferring to open her soul to God so He could understand her real meaning; she figured that He did not need to be distracted by her babble. It was enough to feel His presence within her, to know He understood and cared for her.

She was trying to keep her mind clear in order to feel His presence. After a while she felt confident that God had heard her prayer, and was equally confident that He was aware of her concerns. He was dealing with Sarah’s problem, and Nanci understood that she was to be one of His tools.

“Thank You, Master,” she murmured so softly that only He could hear it. “Thy will be done.”

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