It was a long, slow drive back to Wychbold. Kyle spent much of it thinking about Chelsea – and what came after her.

Chelsea had not been his first girlfriend, although he’d not had very many over the years. He’d gone more or less steady for a while in college, but it hadn’t been very serious and they’d parted friends without any great feeling of loss.

But Chelsea was different, and he knew it. She had been the first girlfriend who he felt had possibilities beyond the immediate future. For a while there, it had looked like they would spend a while just getting closer, getting to know each other better, and then his mother might get her wish. He had been perfectly satisfied with the idea. He’d only had a few minor reservations about Chelsea, but they were ones that he’d thought he could live with. Sure, she was a little over the top about her swimsuits, but he definitely liked looking at her wearing them – or not wearing them, as the case might have been. Maybe she was a touch on the independent side, but was that really a fault? Not in his mind – at least until it came to this.

Now, try as he might, he couldn’t imagine a future with her closely involved. Oh, he’d try to stay friends with her, calling and e-mailing, and maybe making hurried visits to her, but even then it seemed likely that over time they’d drift apart, and that would be that. As much as he didn’t want to, it seemed to be time to give up hope that something could be worked out, and look to a future that didn’t involve this pretty, intelligent, and lively – if slightly odd – girl. It was going to happen whether he liked it or not, so he figured he might as well get used to it.

One thing he had learned from Chelsea was that he liked being around her, or maybe, at least around the right woman. Finding a woman and working toward making a life with her had not ever been at the head of his priority list; he’d always figured he was too young to be making those kinds of long-term commitments, at least until she’d entered his life and changed his thinking a bit. So maybe she’d taught him that it was time to be getting a little more serious about it.

But who? In his time in Wychbold, he’d met very few single women who had appealed to him – again excepting Chelsea, of course. He’d run across a few who were single – or single again – but not one of them, no one but Chelsea had come close to ringing his bell, and there had always been something objectionable about those others that limited his enthusiasm. Maybe the time had come to look elsewhere.

His thoughts of a few weeks before of looking for a job elsewhere came back to him. Moving on now seemed like a better idea than it had been a few months before, but the same question remained, of whether to try to move closer to Chelsea and work to rekindle things with her, or just look for a job elsewhere without taking her into consideration. In a way, the latter course had some appeal for him – if she was far enough away, the impossibility of getting back together with her might help him to get his mind off of her.

It wasn’t a decision he could make now, and he didn’t have to be in a hurry about it. In the next few months it would probably answer itself anyway.

He got into Wychbold late on Sunday, road-tired and sore from sitting behind the wheel of the pickup for too long. He wasn’t really happy to be back since the town seemed empty without her around. He got a beer from the refrigerator to help him unwind from the trip and did a few odds and ends around the apartment that needed doing after being gone for four days. His computer appealed to him; he hadn’t looked at e-mail in a while and there were a few websites he visited regularly that he had missed – news, web comics, and that sort of thing. The latter were amusing as usual, though none were exactly knock-down funny. He sent Chelsea an e-mail saying that he’d gotten back all right, but didn’t get an immediate response.

He was all set to shut the machine down when he decided to click on the Chastity White website, if for no more reason than to sort of touch Chelsea’s memory. He rarely went to the site, at least partly because he already had copies of all the files – in his spare time he’d touched up a few of them for her. It was just after the normal time for an upload, so it would be a fresh photo.

Chelsea had only used a few of the photos they’d taken over the summer on the site so far, and was still working her way through her collection of older ones. Kyle was mildly familiar with the photo that popped up on his computer screen; it was a rare one where she had her hair down, rather than up in her more or less trademark “sexy librarian” bun, and she was holding her glasses, rather than wearing them. The swimsuit was a fairly conservative black one that had a zipper up the front, but it was unzipped to somewhere around her navel. He let out a sigh; it seemed to him that she was going to find it even harder to be a sexy librarian in Arlington than it had been in Wychbold, but that was going to be her problem now.

He didn’t linger over the photo because he knew it was going to set memories going – and at that, he was grateful that it wasn’t one he had taken, since it would involve even more memories. After only a few seconds he shut down the browser and then the computer itself, a little sad over what might have been. He didn’t think he’d be going to the website again anytime soon.

Fortunately he was moderately busy at work on Monday, since a few things had piled up on his desk while he’d been gone, but once it again it seemed like more of the same old thing. At one time the job had been challenging and he’d learned a lot from it, but now everything seemed routine. He knew he could keep doing it for a while if he had to, but more and more he felt like he needed a new challenge.

After dinner that evening he sat down with a new book. He’d long since finished the one on African colonization, and this one was about the British occupation of India. He’d started it before, but the author had seemed to run out of steam in the last fifty or seventy-five years of what was called “The Raj,” and of course that was the part that interested him the most. It wasn’t quite deadly boring, but close; he resolved that the next book he read was going to have to be a fast-paced and totally fictional murder mystery or something, just for a change of pace.

The book was as slow-paced as he remembered, so after a while he gave some thought to calling Chelsea, just to see how her first day on the job had gone. But he also knew she was going to have evening hours, then have something to eat, so there was no point in calling too early. So he was surprised when the phone rang long before he figured she would be home.

It proved to not be Chelsea at all, but his father. “So how are you tonight?” he asked.

“A little on the bored side,” Kyle reported. “I don’t really have much to do, and I don’t know why I’m bothering with the book I’m reading.”

“You’re telling me Chelsea isn’t with you?”

“No,” he sighed. “I had to help her move to her new job over the weekend. It’s down in South Carolina. I don’t know when I’ll be seeing her again, or even if I will.”

“You mean, she’s gone? You aren’t seeing her any more?”

“Yeah, pretty much, I guess.”

“That’s a relief,” his father said. “I thought I recognized her when you brought her up here that time, but I couldn’t put my finger on it until last night. Your mother isn’t here right now, so we can talk freely without her butting in. Look, have you ever seen a website about a girl named Chastity White?”

Ohhhhh shit, Kyle thought. This isn’t going to be pretty, and there was no covering it up – not that it really mattered now. “I’ve seen it,” he admitted.

“I’ve thought about it all day and I can’t believe you would have actually brought a porn queen up to meet your mother and me. What the hell were you doing with that girl, anyway?”

“First off, I didn’t just bring her up there with me,” Kyle bristled. For practical purposes Chelsea was in his past, but still he was upset that his father would jump to conclusions like that. “You two were the ones who all but ordered me to bring her up there, and you bugged the shit out of me until I did. So don’t go blaming me for that. More importantly, Chelsea is not a porn queen. She does swimsuit shots, and really, they’re pretty conservative ones. Oh, yeah, sometimes they get a little racy, but I can find a ton of stuff that’s a lot hotter on the web in about two seconds.”

“Yeah, well, so what?” his father sneered. “Those girls are, well, it’s like they’re not real. It’s different when you know someone, and it’s real different when your son is having a hot romance with a girl like that.”

“Like what? Like a girl in an underpaid job who’s trying to make her student loan payments?” Kyle was just about raging now. “Like I said, those shots are all very innocent. Why in hell do you think she always wears one-piece swimsuits? Hell, those aren’t even bikini shots, for God’s sakes. It’s not like she’s a stripper or a hooker or something.”

“So you know all about this then, and you didn’t tell us?”

“So when is it any of your business in the first place?” Kyle fumed. “She’s my friend, and I know her well enough to know that she’s a perfectly nice girl.”

“You’re telling me you knew all about it, then. Why would you want to take up with a girl like that? It’s going to kill your mother when she hears about it. All I’ve heard from her for months is Chelsea this and Chelsea that.”

“Then don’t tell her,” Kyle sneered. “Tell her the truth, that Chelsea is down in South Carolina and we aren’t seeing each other any more. I wish it didn’t have to be that way, but there it is. We had a lot of fun this summer and I took some photos of her because it was simpler than her setting up to take the photos of herself. “

“Did you take that one that’s on her site this week?”

Kyle sensed an opening to turn the tables a little. “Don’t tell me you’re one of her regulars.”

“I, well, I do go to the site once in a while. She’s kind of cute and refreshing compared to some of the stuff you can find on the web.”

“Don’t you think she knows that? She knows what her audience wants and she plays to it. Chelsea isn’t a porn queen, and it’s even a reach to call her a swimsuit model. The website is a sideline hobby for her, one she can make a little money with.”

“Boy, it sure doesn’t look like it from here,” he said. “It makes me wonder what kind of trash you’ve been slumming around with.”

“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” Kyle replied in exasperation. “The bottom line is that she’s a nice kid, but she’s gone, and that’s that. So now I get to start over.”

“Try to find a better class of girl when you do,” his father replied.

“Good to talk to you, Dad,” Kyle said angrily. “I’ll call you sometime, but probably not soon. Catch you around.” It would be unfair to say that Kyle slammed the phone down but he didn’t give his father a chance to reply. He waited for a few seconds then took the phone off the hook – he didn’t need his father calling back to continue the argument.

He felt bad enough about Chelsea leaving as it was, and now there was this to contend with. He didn’t need this shit! What was more, he didn’t need his mother knowing that he was without a girlfriend again, and having her going back to try to set him up with every unmarried woman she’d ever met.

Kyle just sat in his chair stewing for a few moments, then got up and looked up how to block calls on his phone. It took some figuring out, but in half an hour he had his parent’s work and home landline and cell numbers blocked. Maybe he’d call them in a while, and maybe he wouldn’t.

It took long enough that he figured it would be safe to call Chelsea – she must be home from work by now. He took a few deep breaths, trying to get his anger and blood pressure under control; she wasn’t the one to blame for this, not really. Don’t dump this on her, he reminded himself as he dialed her cell number.

As soon as he heard her voice, he asked, “So how was your first day on your new job?”

“Oh, Kyle! It’s good to hear your voice. It’s been very confusing. There are several items that have been lying around until a new librarian got here to deal with them, and it’s been one thing after another. I think I’ll have the worst of them figured out in a few days after I’ve figured out where everything is.”

“And how’s life down there?”

“I’m still just getting settled in. There are loads of new people to meet and their names to learn, but I’m getting started at it. So how are you tonight?”

“Not in a very good mood,” he replied honestly. “I just found out that Chastity White has a fan I didn’t know about. My father just called me up and gave me hell because I’d had the gall to introduce them to a porn queen.”

“He actually said that?”

“Not in those words, but ‘porn queen’ were among the ones used. What’s more, he had his mind all made up and all he could think about was to dump on you.”

“Oh, Kyle! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Nothing you could have done about it,” he said, trying to keep her from feeling guilty. “If anyone is to blame, it’s me for letting them bug me into taking you up to meet them that time. I mean, I know better, and I know you’re no porn queen, but that didn’t mean he would listen to me. I mean, hell, it sounded like he’s a regular on your website, so he ought to know better, too.”

“Kyle, you and I both know what the truth is, but we also both know that there are people who are going to read things into it that just aren’t there. That’s why I’ve tried to obscure my identity. I mean, I figure that sooner or later there’s going to be someone who figures it out, and I was a little worried about it happening while I was there in Wychbold. I’m just as concerned about it here, but I think I may be a little bit safer. And there’s a reason I’ve tried to keep my own folks from knowing what I’m doing, and I never let it on to Marcie or anyone like her.”

“The heck of it is,” he began, then stopped and rephrased what he wanted to say, “It’s all perfectly innocent. Well, pretty much, anyway. You’re not doing sex shots. You are doing things that have a sexy component, true, but the same thing can be said for a Hollywood actress who poses in a racy dress for the sake of publicity, or even a cheerleader at a high school basketball game. Some people may not appreciate that, but those are the same people who would insist that all women wear burqas and veils. I mean, I thought I knew my father well enough to think he wouldn’t feel that way, but apparently he does. I say the hell with all of them. I spent a few minutes blocking my parent’s phone numbers before I called you. I don’t need any more of that crap tonight. In fact, right now I feel like I don’t need any more of their crap, period.”

“Kyle, please. Don’t let yourself get too worked up about this. They are your parents, you know.”

“Yeah, but part of the reason I put the call blocking on is that I also told them that you’d moved down there. That would mean my mother will be calling me all hours of the day and night trying to get me set up with someone else. It wouldn’t be surprising if they … oh, shit, you’re right,” he said, his anger collapsing a little. “I shouldn’t be pissed off with them, but I wish they’d keep their noses out of my business. I’m sorry, Chelsea. I should have waited and cooled off a little longer before I called you.”

“That’s all right, Kyle. I know this is upsetting. What’s more, I know you’re feeling lonely up there, just like I’m feeling lonely down here. I wish now I hadn’t done this, but it’s done, and we’re just going to have to live with it.”

“You’re not kidding I’m feeling lonely up here, and now after this I’m feeling more isolated than ever. I know it’s only been a few days since we’ve seen each other, Chelsea, but I’m already looking forward to seeing you again.”

“I am, too, Kyle. I think it might be best if we didn’t get together in Arlington very much, though. I don’t want to give the local busybodies any more to talk about than I have to, and that would mean if you came down you’d have to stay in that motel again.”

“Maybe we could get together in Knoxville or something,” he suggested. “That ought to be far enough away to be safe.”

“It’s a thought,” she agreed. “Maybe we can find a motel with a pool and a hot tub so I can wear an extra special swimsuit or two for you.”

“That idea has potential,” he agreed, warming to the thought. “Look, it’s several weeks until Thanksgiving, but maybe we can do it then.”

“I’m afraid not,” she sighed. “I was looking at the calendar today, and the library is open Friday and Saturday. We’d have to be traveling on Thursday and Sunday, so it just wouldn’t work.”

“You’re right, that wouldn’t work at all,” he agreed. “How about Christmas?”

“Not then, either,” she said. “I’m planning on flying out to see my parents. I haven’t seen them at all for almost three years, and it’s been longer since we’ve had Christmas together. I don’t want to have to put you off on that, Kyle, but I really feel like I shouldn’t pass the opportunity by. But how about New Year’s?”

“It wouldn’t work for me,” he sighed. “I mean, I’d have to check the office calendar, but we don’t get New Year’s Eve off. We could have New Year’s Day, but I know I’d have to be back to work on the second. There’s a year-end inventory going on then, and it’s a big deal around the company, so there’s no slack for me to find any extra time.”

“Darn it,” she said. “There’s just not much chance now until spring. Since I’m new here, I won’t have any vacation time built up until then, and then not much. Even if I could take off, it looks like my part-time assistant will be gone by then. She’s having a baby and I won’t have anyone else who could take up the slack when I’m gone.”

“Maybe I could take a Monday off sometime, and fly down,” he suggested. “That would at least give us a Sunday together.”

“It sounds like the only chance we’ve got,” she agreed. She was silent for a few moments before she went on, “Kyle, I’m thinking that maybe we’d better not work too hard at trying to get together again.”

“Chelsea, what are you saying?”

“I don’t want to lose you, Kyle. You’re the only person I know and trust who knows about Chastity, and now it’s bitten you in the ass. Maybe it would be just as well if you kept your distance from me. You don’t want to abandon your parents, Kyle. You really don’t. I don’t want to say I’ve abandoned mine, because I haven’t, but we haven’t been close for some time, not since I left for college. I want to see them at Christmas to repair the damage a little.”

“Right now I’m not sure I want to repair relations with mine.”

“Then get over it. I know you’re feeling lonely and hurt and isolated right now, and I don’t blame you. Like I said, Kyle, I don’t want to lose you and I’d hate to lose you. But right now, it might be better for you if you did, because it might get your parents off your back.” She was silent for a moment, and he thought he could hear a tear in her voice when she continued. “Look, Kyle. If you happen to come up with another girl, one your parents would accept, well, maybe it would be for the best.”

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