It would have made Mary Lou absolutely livid to know that Nancy was even having lunch with a guy, but at the moment, she didn’t know that. She didn’t miss knowing it by much, though.

Mary Lou had finally, if reluctantly, realized that Nancy wasn’t at Meriwether College at all – not living on campus, nor living off campus, which wasn’t allowed for freshmen here, anyway. There was no sign of her. How did Nancy dare to brush her off like that?

After all, she’d tried all summer to get in touch with Nancy, to make sure that she went to Meriwether so the two of them could be together and pick up where they’d left off. Maybe there were a few things she’d handled poorly, but they couldn’t have been that bad! Oh sure, there were some squabbles, but they could be fixed. She loved Nancy, ached for her touch, and couldn’t believe she would have walked away from her like she did. They were meant to be together, that much was clear, but somehow Nancy didn’t seem to understand that, no matter how she’d tried to explain it.

The only thing Mary Lou could do was to keep trying to get through to Nancy, to try to make her understand that theirs was a true love that shouldn’t let little things get in their way. The only way she could tell her would be to find her so she could talk to her, and maybe get through to her.

Once Mary Lou had come to the conclusion that Nancy had ignored her pleas to join her at Meriwether, she soon realized that she probably was down at that stupid Southern Michigan University. They were supposed to work the asses off kids down there, rather than like at a normal college like Meriwether. Why would Nancy want anything to do with that?

There was nothing to do but check it out. However, it wasn’t easy.

Just about the first thing Mary Lou did was to look at the Southern Michigan University website. It seemed normal enough, though reading through the pages made it seem more and more like a concentration camp. They apparently didn’t put up with a lot of bullshit and seemed focused on working the student to death. The thing that struck her hardest was that they came right out and said there were no athletics on campus, no football team. How could it be a college without a football team? That was ridiculous! She’d had a lot of fun with the guys on the football team at Spearfish Lake High School before what she thought of as “the great fuck-up” happened, and most of the varsity team had been canned. That had taken a lot of the fun out of going to high school, that was for sure.

But maybe it wasn’t all bad. If the great fuck-up hadn’t happened, she might never have realized that Nancy was her true love. If Nancy would just come to her senses, the two of them could have a great life together!

Mary Lou was no great shakes with a computer, but after some searching around the SMU website she came across the student directory. Sure enough, there was a listing for “Nancy Halifax,” so unless it was another girl with the same name, Nancy had wound up ignoring her wishes and going there after all. It seemed likely, anyway. But there was no phone number, no address other than a post office box, so Mary Lou didn’t have any idea of how to find her lover.

There was nothing to do but go down and look for her. That wasn’t as easy as it sounded, since Southern was something like sixty miles away from Meriwether. A couple weeks ago when she’d been in Spearfish Lake, sixty miles would have been nothing – it was about that far down to Camden, and Mary Lou was used to hopping in her car and driving down there to go shopping, catch a movie, or whatever. But they didn’t allow freshmen to have cars at Meriwether, and with no car, sixty miles was a big deal.

So the problem turned into one of finding a car she could borrow for a while to get down to Southern, and it wasn’t easy. Most of the people she knew at all at Meriwether were freshmen, which meant that they were in the same boat, and she wasn’t the only one looking for wheels to spend a few hours off campus. In this day and age, being without a car was almost unthinkable!

By the end of the week she was getting desperate, until she came across a fat and pimply upperclassman named Ray who had been so horny he’d been willing to come on to her, even though she’d made it clear she was a lesbian. But after some discussion they’d worked out a deal – she could borrow his car for a few hours on Saturday afternoon in exchange for going down on him. Even though she’d given up on guys after the great fuck-up and getting together with Nancy, she’d done it often enough before that happened that it was no big deal, no matter how distasteful it may have been. The things a girl had to do in pursuit of true love …

Fortunately, it hadn’t been too bad. The guy got his rocks off in a few seconds – he was either a real quick shot artist, or had been so desperate that it just didn’t take long – but now she had wheels for the afternoon. The guy insisted that she return the car by six; she didn’t know why, but made up her mind she was going to have it back on time in case she needed wheels again.

The problem was that it was well after noon before the deal was done, and it was going to take more than an hour just to get down to Southern, and the same time coming back. If she allowed a little extra to make sure she had the car back on time, that meant that she only had a couple hours to look around the Southern campus, with no idea of where to start looking.

She walked all over campus, in all the buildings, but there was no sign of Nancy. She didn’t know it, but she’d just missed her – Nancy was just getting back in her apartment after having lunch with Logan when Mary Lou found a place to park well off campus.

Increasingly desperate, she continued looking, asking people if they’d seen Nancy, but no one knew who she was. That was probably logical, she thought – Nancy was new enough on campus that probably not many people knew who she was, anyway.

Finally time was running out. There was no choice but to head back to Meriwether and try again another day. It would mean having to go down on that guy again – she couldn’t figure out whether he, or having to do it to him, or even do it at all was more disgusting. But a girl had to do what she had to do, she told herself.

She was halfway back to Meriwether when an idea came to her. She knew vaguely of Cody and Jan Archer owning an apartment building in Hawthorne, although she didn’t know the details – but what were the chances that Nancy would be staying in one of their apartments?

It seemed, well, not likely, but a possibility – and a better lead than she’d had so far. With a little work on the computer, and perhaps a call back to Spearfish Lake, she ought to be able to find out where the apartment building was. Even if she wasn’t living there, maybe she’d be able to find out something about where Nancy was.

But it would have to wait for another week – and more time on her knees to get to use the car again. God, that sucked, and not just having to do the guy again. But it would be worth it to once more have her arms around Nancy.

*   *   *

Unknown to Nancy, the two-bedroom apartment downstairs was noisier than she had expected it to be, and not just from Alan and Summer or Jack and Vixen making out rather enthusiastically.

In the rather relaxed “getting to know you” session at the Wicca SIG meeting at Darrin’s apartment earlier in the week, Summer and Alan had revealed that they’d been working on their “Witches versus Christians” role-playing game for over a year. They said they’d been trying to do it in a way that didn’t dishonor the Goddess, and thought they’d done pretty well at it. At the same time, they’d tried to build it around some of the old legends of witchcraft, and had worked in a lot of modern gaming conventions.

A little to their amazement, several of the people in the group said it sounded interesting, and some of them, including Darrin and Elise, had experience with role playing games and said they enjoyed them. One thing led to another, and before the evening was done the suggestion was made that they get together to try the game out.

Saturday afternoon sounded like a good time to get together, and pretty soon it was set up. Alan and Summer suggested that Jack and Vixen be invited, since they’d been involved with all of the test sessions in putting the game together so far. “Their experience with it would be invaluable,” Summer told the group.

“Are they Wiccan too?” Darrin had asked.

“No,” Alan smiled. “They’re weird. They worship birds, or at least watch them. They’re fanatics about it, too. But they also are the only people in the town we’re from outside of some of our families who know we’re pagan. They’re cool with it.”

“You’re sure you don’t mind them knowing?”

“We couldn’t share the apartment with them if they didn’t know,” Summer said flatly. “They’re not religious in any way, shape or form. We have an agreement – they’re perfectly willing to let us be pagan so long as we don’t try to jam it down their throats. But that much said it would probably be best if we held the discussion down while we’re around them.”

“I guess we can get along with that,” Darrin said. “Around one on Saturday, you think?”

To be honest, Jack and Vixen were a little less than totally enthusiastic to discover that they’d been volunteered to sit in on the game. They’d had plans to go back out to the nature preserve to do a little more birding, now that the fall migration season was starting. But Alan and Summer were friends, and they knew how hard the two had worked on developing the game, so they agreed to help with it.

Thus it was that the living room of the apartment was packed pretty full of people when Nancy came back from meeting with Logan at the cafeteria – not that it took a lot of people to pack the place; it was small indeed.

Although the group was rather noisy, the game went well. Alan and Summer took a little time to explain the game, which was organized a little differently than most role-playing games, and soon they were in full swing, with Jack and Vixen on opposing teams to act as something of player-coaches. At least the game went pretty well, the result of a lot of test sessions up in Spearfish Lake over the preceding few months; play only had to be stopped occasionally to explain one or another of the peculiarities.

Along about three there came a good place to take a break. Summer and Vixen broke out some refreshments from the kitchen, and the group sat around talking for a while. Of course, considering the group, the discussion often strayed to one facet or another of Wicca, and Summer noticed Jack and Vixen subtly rolling their eyes at some of the things that were said; she knew the two had a very low tolerance for the metaphysical.

The game soon got back under way. Alan and Summer were very pleased with the way it was going – all their work had paid off, and it was proving to be a really good game. In another couple of hours, there came another obvious place to take a break, and Summer noticed Jack and Vixen having a whispered conversation. It didn’t take being a psychic to tell that they’d about had their fill of everything that had been happening around the apartment that afternoon.

So it was no surprise when Jack spoke up and said, “Summer, Alan? Vixen and I have been talking it over, and if we kill ourselves out of the game at this point, we can get over to the nature preserve and catch a few hours of birds. The weather is really nice and we don’t want to miss the opportunity. If it’s all right with you, we’ll take off.”

“Suit yourself,” Alan replied. “I know you have to get your time in there when you can, and fall migration doesn’t last that long. You want to get dinner on your own?”

“Yeah, we’ll stop somewhere,” Jack said. “The rest of you, have fun with the game. It really is pretty good, but to be honest, Vixen and I are more interested in birds than we are in games.”

“Have fun,” Darrin told them. “To each his own.”

Jack and Vixen were soon heading out the door to the shuttle bus pickup point, carrying daypacks with handy things like binoculars and cameras. As soon as they were gone, Darrin spoke up, “Alan, Summer, I’m really sorry we wound up running them off, but you could just look at them and see them thinking, ‘Wow, what a weird bunch of people.’”

“I’m sure you’re right,” Alan grinned. “Of course, they know we think they’re weird since they spend so much time thinking about birds. You were right, to each his own. I expect that sooner or later they’ll have a bunch of birders over here and they’ll be driving Summer and me nuts with their discussion of the mating habits of the lesser dodo or something. We’re tolerant of each others’ differences, and that’s let us be friends in spite of everything else.”

“Things would go on a lot better in this world if there were more people with that degree of tolerance,” Elise commented. “You’re lucky to have friends like them.”

“We think so.”

“You know,” Darrin mused, “That sort of leads to a question that I think I need to ask. The two of you aren’t very out about the fact that you’re Wiccan, are you?”

“No,” Summer replied. “With the exception of Jack and Vixen, only people in our families know, and even that doesn’t include all of them.”

“And you people, of course,” Alan added. “In fact, I think it’s safe to say that technically we’re not exactly Wiccan, at least not in the modern sense, which is why we often refer to ourselves as pagan. The traditions in our families go back further than the modern revival of the worship. My family, well, we don’t exactly shout it from the housetops, and Summer’s is really paranoid about letting anyone outside the family know it.”

“And then it’s limited to the women in the family,” Summer added. “I shouldn’t have even said that, but Alan and I became ostensibly Wiccan mostly to cover up the older connections.”

“I always knew there were a few of us running around,” Darrin said, with some degree of awe. “I suppose you want to keep it fairly quiet?”

“Yes, we do,” Summer replied. “I mean, I don’t care if friends or other believers know of our pagan connections but I don’t feel I can say anything about the deeper connections, in respect to the women in my family. I don’t want it to become generally known, either.”

“We can handle that,” Darrin said. “I think most of us with the exception of Elise and me are in the closet to some degree. Even Bremusa doesn’t like to advertise it and wants to stay in the background, at least in public. The reason I was asking that was that in two weeks we’ll have Activities Day, where we’ll be setting up a table in front of T-Hall. We usually get some curiosity seekers, and occasionally someone who wants to explore things a little deeper. I would guess you wouldn’t want to sit in on that, would you?”

“I’d really rather not,” Summer said. “And maybe you can understand why.”

“I probably shouldn’t either, just to keep it quiet for Summer,” Alan responded. “At least this year. I may think about it a little differently in future years, but we’re pretty new to the campus, after all.”

“Good,” Darrin smiled. “It’s probably not the best idea in the world to have freshmen sitting in on it, anyway. But in another year Elise and Bremusa and I will have graduated, and you may find yourselves promoted.”

“That’s another year,” Alan shrugged. “We’ll just have to see what happens when we get there.”

“A lot can happen between now and then,” Darrin smiled. “The Goddess will have her way with things, after all. What do you say we have another couple hours of game time, and then maybe we can all go out to dinner somewhere?”

*   *   *

Susan was aware of the gathering in the two-bedroom apartment across the hall, though she didn’t worry about it at all. It was obviously a case of the kids getting together, making friends, and having fun, and they were certainly welcome to do it. There was a part of her that would have liked to have joined the group, whatever they were doing, but it wasn’t her place to butt in. It was a private party, after all, and she was an administrator so knew there had to be at least a little separation between her and student activities.

Still, she could remember a time when she and Mizuki had had some friends over in the apartment they’d occupied upstairs, just to hang out, talk about things, and generally be friendly. She missed that, much like she missed the closeness she’d had with Mizuki – and not necessarily even the sex, but more the companionship.

Ever since her epiphany a few days before about having the joys of companionship, the question had continued to come to mind at odd times. Thinking about it just led to more of how much she missed it.

While she knew she could go on this way for a while if she had to, it didn’t mean that she wanted to. All of the friends from her earlier days on campus were gone now – she’d checked the student directory – and the last of them had left the previous spring. Even if she weren’t an administrator, there was nothing to be picked up on there.

It would be nice to make friends with more students, like she was beginning to do with Laura and Stacy, but again, there would have to be some distance. She could be friends with a student, but she would have to remember once again that she was an administrator, not just another student, not even a grad student, so the friendships would have to be limited. There could be no casual sex like she’d enjoyed in the past with students, there were ethics rules in place that hadn’t affected her during her last sojourn here at Southern.

She had the option of getting friendly with other administrators or with faculty members, but the prospects were limited there, too. Many of the faculty members at Southern were adjuncts who were actively working in their specialties, so they didn’t spend a much time on campus when they weren’t in their classrooms. On top of that, her general impression was that many if not most of them were married. While she’d had some casual sex here and there, she’d never messed around with someone who was married, of either sex, and had no intention of starting now. After her time with Theo she didn’t consider herself to be a lesbian anymore, but if she were lonely enough and the opportunity were to arise …

And, when she got down to it, there weren’t that many people, especially men, who appealed to her that much, anyway. It seemed strange to think about, but the guy who appealed to her most right now was Cody, and nothing was going to happen there. While he was a relative, it was a relative by marriage, so that part of it didn’t matter, but he and Jan were so wrapped up there would be no splitting the two of them apart if she’d been of a mind to. Besides, Cody was so damn straight he’d never consider it anyway.

So right then the prospects seemed to be more than a little dim. Not impossible, but dim. But maybe that was all right too. There were still opportunities out there, even if they weren’t as common or easily found as they once had been. After all, who knew what could happen? Her brother Henry, of all people, had been married for a year now to a woman he hadn’t known existed two years before, and she was a sharp, intelligent, and very personable woman who Susan liked right from the time she first met her. That told her, if anything did, that there was no point in giving up hope too soon.

But that didn’t make things any less lonely for her right now. She spent much of the afternoon at her computer, working on the problems of setting up an international program; the question seemed to be how to get started on it, and she had some ideas. Some of them involved travel, even travel out of the country, and who knew what could happen when she was away from Southern? After all, much had happened in foreign lands in her past. She’d met more people, had more fun, and to be honest had had more fun in bed outside the country than she’d ever had inside of it.

But her attention still wandered. The problem was companionship here and now, not sex in some foreign land. Probably she had already started on a solution by inviting Laura and Stacy over the other night. There was no reason she couldn’t put more attention to getting to know students, and maybe inviting the occasional administrator or faculty member to small gatherings right here in her apartment. In fact, it seemed like the perfect way to start to develop some new friendships.

And another thing – the weather was still nice, and could be expected to continue for a while. There was no reason she couldn’t invite a few people over for a cookout in the back yard. She’d have to talk to Cody and Jan about that, but they probably would be willing to go along with some social activity of that nature so long as she picked up the tab. It would make a good first step, and could lead to better things.

It seemed like a good idea, so long as it was done while the weather was still nice. That meant there was no putting it off. Maybe next weekend …

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