“Sorry we’re a couple minutes late sir,” Andy said to Mr. McCluskey as soon as they got in the door. “We got a late start, since Helena had to spend a little time doctoring me, and then I got behind some cop that was only doing eighty and I didn’t dare pass him.”

“Doctoring you?” he asked as he took their coats. “What happened?”

“Oh, my back got a little scratched up,” Andy smiled. “Nothing to worry about. Helena put some of that antibiotic she uses on it, and it feels a lot better.”

“Well, before we get started, maybe old Doc Divebomber better have a look at your back,” Mr. McCluskey grinned. “Take off your coat, Andy, and pull up your shirt.”

There was not a lot Andy could do but to feel embarrassed and comply. “Ah, yes,” Mr. McCluskey smiled. “Honorable wounds, sir! I dare say, there are no more pleasurable wounds a man can bear. Miss Curtis, I presume you had something to do with this?”

“Well, uh, yes, sir, I’m afraid I did,” she said, blushing heavily, realizing that she wasn’t fooling anyone a bit. “I was giving him a hot oil massage and, well … I guess maybe I’d better trim my nails back.”

“Don’t you dare,” Andy grinned. “Miss Curtis, I think I begin to understand what you said on TV the other day. The part about it’s only pain, it will go away.”

“Wise words, sir,” Mr. McCluskey grinned. “Wise words, indeed. In any case, Miss Curtis, no more hot oil massages for him for a few days, lest they leave scars. Mr. Brown, since you were in a hurry, I take it you have not had breakfast.”

“No, sir, I’m afraid we haven’t,” he replied, tucking his shirt back in.

“Good,” Mr. McCluskey smiled. “I’m pleased to announce that My Lady is about to pull some cinnamon rolls from the oven, and there is coffee awaiting. Pull yourself back together, sir, while I go attend to Miss Curtis.”

Say what you will, Andy thought. There had to be some weird things going on under this roof, weirder people, but Mr. McCluskey was one hell of a host …

Probably the biggest thing that had shaken Andy, given him pause right from the middle part of Saturday morning, was the notion of pain. Liking pain. Because there had been so many things to talk about all day Saturday, they hadn’t broached the subject, and every time they got near it, the topic seemed to veer off onto something else … there were no lesson plans, of course. By around noon on Sunday, the subject had come back around. After Mr. McCluskey’s quick discussion of endorphins on that dreadful night at the hospital a week and more earlier, Andy had begun to understand it some, but he was in deep water, and he knew it. But by now, he wasn’t quite as afraid of these people nor quite as afraid of Helena, and the subject reappeared. Endorphins aside, the notion of seeking pain, and pain for its own sake and mixing it with pleasure just didn’t make a hell of a lot of sense.

“It’s like we’re talking two different languages,” Andy complained finally. “I hear your words, but I really don’t understand their meaning.”

“Mr. Brown,” Mr. McCluskey said. “I don’t know if you’re ever going to totally believe it, but I’m on your side of the fence. I confess, I don’t understand it either, at least not beyond the pharmaceutical aspects. I hesitate to call these two fine ladies endorphin addicts, because there is something deeper going on. I do not know what it is. I have never understood it. I have, however, come to accept it, and accept that these two fine ladies see it differently than us. There is a depth of understanding there that I fear I shall never be able to cross.”

“But you like inflicting pain on them?”

“No, sir, I do not,” he said flatly. “It can be very difficult for me. When I first met My Lady, I knew from the first hour that she enjoyed what I felt to be an unreasonable amount of pain inflicted upon her. I knew from personal experience that people like her existed, although I never understood it. Still, it was very difficult for me to inflict pain on her, even though I knew she craved it. It is the responsibility of a master, sir, when confronted with that, to be responsible in its use, knowing that you are running some very real dangers in pleasuring them in that manner. These ladies are difficult to please, sir. They are greedy, and they can exceed their limits in pursuit of what they wish to have. It is not an easy thing to learn, but it is perhaps the most important thing.” He sighed, took a sip of his coffee, and continued. “I do confess to a pleasure in giving My Lady pleasure, even though it hurts me to do it. My Lady, you wished to speak?”

“Yes, My Lord,” she said from the armchair across the room, where she’d been sitting, her handcuffed hands resting in her lap. “I do not know that I’ve mentioned it to you, but I have told Miss Curtis on several occasions a quote from Kermit the Frog: ‘It ain’t easy being green.’”

“Yes, My Lady,” he said. “A wise statement indeed. Mr. Brown, it is not easy to love, or cherish, or pleasure women such as these. But the rewards, sir, the rewards are ample. They more than make it worth the effort, and I’m not including claw marks upon our backs in that statement. Do you not enjoy the satisfaction of doing a difficult and tricky job successfully?”

“Well, of course,” Andy said. “And that part of it almost makes sense. I mean, a goofy sort of sense, but sense. But there’s still something that’s troubling me.” He turned to Helena. “Miss Curtis, do you remember the discussion Friday night that touched this all off?”

“Why, yes, sir, of course,” she replied, from her seat on the other end of the couch, where she sat collared and handcuffed like Acacia.

“Let’s get right to the part that’s seared across my mind so bad that I don’t think it’ll ever go away. I’ve heard you say before that you knew you had to be the one who got whipped, since you couldn’t bear to stand by and let it happen to either of the other women. But the complacency that you exhibited when you went up to take the whipping still bothers me, and that’s the part I don’t understand. If I’m hearing correctly, you were looking forward to the whipping, to the endorphin high, right?”

“No, Mr. Brown,” she said. “I was not seeking pleasure, nor did I expect any. I had accepted that I would have to face pain, and I was mostly praying to God to either take me to subspace or take me to Jesus quickly.”

“Subspace?” Andy asked.

“I don’t know how to describe it, sir. That’s the word we use. I feel sure endorphins had something to do with it, but I can sink into a mild form of it with very little stimulus. It’s quite relaxing, and you become quite focused. The deeper levels … well, you’ve heard me describe how I was sitting in a peaceful mountain meadow by a beautiful mountain stream, occasionally feeling a mosquito bite.”

“Mr. McCluskey said at the hospital that you were deep in your mind, you’d found a safe hole to hide in, and you were afraid to come out.”

“Yes, that’s a very good description, sir.”

“Mr. Brown,” Acacia said. “May I speak?”

“Certainly, Miss Rose.”

“I have had similar experiences, under different circumstances. It takes several forms, and Miss Curtis was in the deepest form I ever heard of. Sir, even though I’ve been near where Miss Curtis was, I do not understand it. The higher levels must be purely psychological. The deeper levels have to involve pain and pleasure and endorphins and other factors, all mixed in together in an indescribable way.”

Andy let out a sigh. “I suspect that’s the best answer I’m ever going to get,” he grinned. “It must be pretty pleasurable.”

“It usually is, sir,” Acacia said. “It can be very hard to give up. You saw that.”

“What was that business about ‘Let it go?’”

Acacia blushed a little. “That was a spin-off from some other training I was doing with Miss Curtis, sir. I think for the sake of propriety, sir, that you should confer with her about that, and in private.”

“Sounds like one of those deals,” Andy grinned. “All right, I’ll let it slide. But, Miss Curtis, just so I’ve got my mind clear on this – you were pretty sure you could get into this mental state easily where you could handle the pain.”

“Yes, sir,” she said. “I felt fairly confident of it. You see, Mr. Brown, that was not the first time I have been whipped.”

“WHAT?”

“It was considerably milder,” she said. “Merely a demonstration that I requested. I took five lashes on the buttocks from a smaller horsewhip, and two from a cane. I wished to know what it felt like.”

“Hel … Miss Curtis, why in the hell …”

“I was aware that Miss Rose had been whipped on several occasions,” she replied complacently. “I confess, I could not imagine the joy that she took from it, either. Mr. Brown, I know you will not understand my words, but that occasion was one of the most intense of my life. It troubled Mr. McCluskey deeply to apply the lash upon my hindquarters, and he requested that I not ask him to do so again. I acceded to his request.”

“That part, I can understand, Helena,” Andy said, dropping the strict formality in his own internal pain. “After a week ago Friday, there’s no way I could ever think of whipping you. Ever. Not that I think I could have ever done it, anyway. There are limits, Helena. That’s beyond them. I don’t think I could ever manage it. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”

Helena got up from her end of the couch, walked down in front of him, and dropped into high kneel. Eyes cast downward, she said in a small voice, “Not even if I begged you, sir?”

“Get used to it, son,” Mr. McCluskey said softly, dropping his own formality a little. “Some time she may bring you a whip. It will be your responsibility to use it wisely, but to use it on her. Especially after the experience at the bank, I feel sure she will not bring you a whip unless she has absolute faith that you will use it on her responsibly.”

“Oh … God damn,” Andy said. That was all he said, for a minute or more, as he sat there, looking at Helena kneeling before him. The sight of her looking down disturbed him; he reached out, took her by the chin, and raised her face, to discover silent tears in her eyes, dribbling down her face. He shook his head, let her chin go, and her face dropped immediately to its eyes-downward position. “God damn,” he said again, finally, then looked up. “Mr. McCluskey, by any chance do you have a cigarette around here?”

“I didn’t know you smoked, son,” Mr. McCluskey said, “but there’s a pack out in the kitchen. You’ll have to go out to the garage to use it. My Lady is not pleased at the smoke smell in the house.”

“Fine,” Andy said, lost in thought. “I don’t normally smoke, but right now I need a cigarette. Badly.”

“Come with me, Mr. Brown,” Mr. McCluskey said. He hesitated for a moment, and said, “Andy, I know it’s hard, but it’s best that you figure this one out now. Take your time.”

One of the things that became clear to Andy as he stood smoking several rather stale cigarettes in Mr. McCluskey’s garage while having his crisis of confidence was that it was a life-changing decision to make, either way. He could walk away from Helena, and he’d never see her again, at least not with any hopes of getting anywhere with her. After last night, that was a lot to walk away from.

On the other hand, going ahead was not merely a step down a slippery slope; it was a screaming, headfirst running leap. Going back inside and saying something that amounted to “Yes” wasn’t exactly the same as getting married, or even getting engaged, but it was clear to him that the process would likely go that direction, sooner rather than later. If he was going to make a life with this weird girl, he’d have to have some idea of how to handle her, that much was clear … but the process of learning was probably going to come out to a foregone conclusion, anyway, although there was always the chance things could go wrong. This was no longer a case of take a few steps down the slope and try to see what lay ahead.

A hell of a romance, no matter how you cut it but the potential rewards seemed worth it. Amazingly enough, last night had little to do with his decision. It might seem weird as hell to him – but it was also clear that he would be closer than he could have ever imagined to a remarkably interesting, very loving, very intelligent, and very devoted woman. From past experience, he knew that didn’t come easily, if it came at all.

The decision didn’t come easily, either. He knew that there had to be other rocks littering the path on that slippery slope, but it seemed like there could be rewards, too. If he was going to do it, he figured he should do it right, go all the way. There would be no half measures. It would be a challenge. Too much of a challenge?

He stared at the smoke curling up in the calm cold of the air in the garage. Then, difficult as it was, he made up his mind, stomped the cigarette out on the floor, and headed for the house.

Andy came back into the house to find the group almost unchanged. Mr. McCluskey and Acacia still sat silently in their chairs, and Helena was still on her knees before the sofa where he had been sitting. As far as he could tell, not a word had been spoken in his absence. With steely determination, he walked into the living room, and came to a stop in front of Mr. McCluskey, and stood at what he more or less figured was attention. Recognizing the meaning, Mr. McCluskey got to his feet, and stood at attention a few feet away. “Mr. Brown, have you reached a decision?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” he said. “I’m sorry that I’m not as nice with the language as the rest of you, but I’ll do my best. Mr. McCluskey, I think I need to compliment you on the wise way you have handled this, and on the wise decision you made to counsel Miss Curtis. You are absolutely correct, sir. The woman is a danger to herself without a strong hand to watch over her, and I’m glad you have supplied that hand. I am aware, sir, that you cannot continue in this manner forever. As much as I care about Miss Curtis, there is no way I feel capable at this time of supplying that strong hand. Sir, I know of no other way to learn to manage that without asking your help. Sir, I’m willing to do my best, but would you be so kind as to take me on as your student in this matter?”

“Sir,” Mr. McCluskey said officiously. “Do I take that to mean that you are willing to take a whip to Miss Curtis should she ask?”

“No,” Andy said. “Not at this time. I have never held a whip in my hands, and I do not know how to use one. That is one of the things I must ask you to teach me. When you and I feel I am competent at it, I would do so if she asks.” He paused for a moment. “I may hate every instant of it, but I will follow her request.”

Mr. McCluskey looked him straight in the eye, but there was a hint of a smile on his Marine-hard face. “Mr. Brown, until this moment, I had strong doubts of your worthiness as her master,” he said finally. “You have proved me wrong. I will gladly accept your request.”

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